Whispers Of Forever
by OlieGoldenWolf
Summary: Growing up isn't an easy task; but with your best friend by your side, no challenge is big enough. – Natsu/Lisanna, a series of interconnected one-shots describing their relationship as they grow up.
1. 10 years old

**Author's note:** This work was beta-read by _soshoryuu._ Girl, you are wonderful. Thanks a lot!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail. The only profit I make from this fiction is the feedback I get from my wonderful readers. All the characters belong to Hiro Mashima.

* * *

 **Whispers Of Forever**

 **by OlieGoldenWolf**

 **Chapter 1:** **10 Years Old**

The day Igneel left had been winter one.

Winter wasn't particularly harsh in Natsu's homeland. Seasons were benign. Springs would burst with life and grow into hot summers that scared autumns away with its relentless heat, leaving winters to be practically non-existent, more of a rumor than actual reality.

But that day... that day had been the exception. Nature had decided to make itself present with a freezing cyclone, declaring war against trees, plants and whoever dared interpose in her way. The wind _roared_ outside the cave, punishing the forest in its angry wake. The rain fell like frozen daggers, promising icy stabs to the unfortunate folk that found themselves out in the open skies at this unholy time.

Natsu waited for Igneel inside the cave. He was used to his dad disappearing for a couple of hours. Igneel usually went away to retrieve food and clothes from human villages, as well as some books to keep his vain attempts to teach Natsu some reading. But today had been peculiar. Today had been different. Dad never just vanished without a word. He would tell Natsu, give him a warning, something.

Maybe he just didn't want to wake Natsu up. Yeah, that must have been it.

So Natsu sat on the rough floor of the cave he called his home, and waited for his dad to return. The sky was pitch black, eventually cracked apart by the electrical blue of lightening. Seconds after, the mountain would tremble under the thunder, frightened by the sheer power of the natural phenomena. Wind and raindrops would ravish the cave mercilessly, and the stone walls did little to stop the anger of the whirlwind. Honestly, it was a little scary. But it was okay. Dad had strong wings, wings that wouldn't give in under the pressure of wind. He would come back at any moment now, and he would prepare breakfast for Natsu, like he always did.

Hours passed, hunger increased, but the storm didn't back off not even one bit, and still no signals of dad.

The cold was slipping into Natsu's bones, worming its way to his chest, freezing his insides. He felt so cold today. He tried lighting up a fire, but not even his magical breath could fight against the cruel wind. His hands hurt; his fingers were blue, and his lips were bleeding and burning from the bite to hypothermia.

But it was okay. Dad would come back and he would light the fire. His big body would warm up the whole cave in a matter of seconds. No need to worry. He just needed to wait a little bit longer. Wrapping himself around his big, scaly scarf, he laid on the floor and hugged his knees, trying to keep his body temperature constant and his shivers at a minimum.

Finally, the cyclone dwindled to a silent drizzle. Silence took over the world, dead as it was after the massacre that the storm had committed. The wind passed away to other lands but the darkness stayed, imposing its reign of chill and quietness.

Natsu laid unmoving, so still that a distracted passer-by could have thought him dead.

He was so cold. So _cold._

Dad would come back. Dad would take the cold away.

The chattering of his teeth was the only thing breaking the white silence the storm had left behind. His eyes were wide open and his pupils shrunk to slits, looking but not seeing, lost on a world of its own. The fire inside of him was barely alive, weakened by the cold, shying away from life.

But it was okay. Dad would light the fire up. Natsu wondered what he would cook him for breakfast. He hoped it was fried chicken, eggs, and bacon. It had been a long time since the last time he ate bacon.

He wasn't able to feel his feet, and he wondered if that was a bad thing. He tried to move his toes, but a cutting pain was the only answer he got from his nerves. But the worst pain of all was in his chest. It hurt to breath, each inhalation a small battle of his body to try to unfreeze his insides. He had never felt so much cold before in his life.

He felt like he could have died from the pain.

But he didn't need to worry. Dad would know what to do. He just needed to wait for him. Stay still and wait until dad came back.

If only didn't he feel so unbearably _cold._

* * *

Turns out Igneel didn't show up like Natsu was expecting. He waited until the storm passed and the dawn emerged. He went out to hunt something to eat, and grab some wild berries. Then he went back and kept waiting. And waiting. Until three weeks went by, and still no sign of Igneel.

That was the moment Natsu decided something must have happened. Dad wouldn't disappear just like that. So he made up his mind and decided to go to the city, where humans lived. It was daunting, but Natsu was brave. He was the son of Igneel, after all.

Life had always been an easy deal for Natsu. Eat, sleep, practice magic, and look for dad's help when something went wrong. Plain sailing. Nothing to worry about.

But things changed when he went to the "civilization", as Igneel would usually call it. Finding food and shelter proved to be a difficult task. "Fighting to survive" had entered the equation, something that had never worried him before. Escaping from thugs and robbing his food has also been something new, but he had managed. He had fought against adversity and had defeated his enemies, just like his dad had taught him. Every day was a struggle, but he was a warrior. The strong, proud son of a mighty dragon- even if nobody believed him.

Things got better when the Old Man found him. Finding food became an easier task, and so did finding a dry place to sleep in. The guild was a weird place, much noisier than the quiet cave he had lived in with Igneel, but he got used to it quickly. He thought he fitted in quite well. Igneel would have liked it.

He had never been around so many humans in an enclosed space before, so it was a little bit awkward at the beginning. The icy-stripper and the red-haired demon didn't make it any better, but they were a good fight, at least. They were practice, and practice was always necessary. He had to remain strong in order to find Igneel, after all.

The coldness hadn't gone away.

Ever since that day in the cave, he could still feel the tickling of a shiver snaking up his spine, threatening to freeze him away from time. He woke up every now and then in the middle of the night, covered in sweat and panting with fear. The dream was always the same. He was in the cave again, freezing to death, waiting for his father to come back, unable to pull even the slightest flame of magic, powerless and useless. Only this time, the storm didn't calm down and gave him a chance to recover himself. No, in the dream, the wind roared with rage and uprooted the walls of the cave. In his dream, the frost crawled towards him like frozen magma aching to burn him. He tried to escape, tried to move his body and run away from the frost, but he was _so hungr_ y _,_ and his legs and fingers hurt _so much_ , and even _breathing_ felt like a million of icy stabs driving into his lungs.

In the end, the living frost got to him and his tiny body fell under it, fighting inside the ice until the drowning nightmare gave away to a startled waking up.

Maybe that's why he hated the ice bastard so much. He just couldn't stand his presence in the same room. It reminded him too much of _that_ day.

But then there was the other girl. The one with white hair and sky-like eyes. At first he had distrusted her. Somebody with such a hellish older sister could only bring him trouble. Besides, those blue eyes were another reminder of the storm he desperately wanted to forget.

That's why the first time she approached him, feet fidgeting and nails suffering under shy teeth, his reaction was harsh and hostile.

"Ummhh… uhm… boy? What's your name?" She had been staring at him for quite some time now, and Natsu had noticed. His defenses had snapped alert; a year of living on the street taught you never to trust strangers, especially those who stared at you. Those were the dangerous ones, the ones who wanted something from you, either the piece of bread you had managed to steal from the bakery or those little jewels you had snatched from a distracted pocket.

"What do you want?" The girl recoiled immediately, her eyes wide with surprise and a little bit of fear. He realized a warning growl had slipped under his tone and he cursed silently. He hadn't meant to be that rude. These people were supposed to be his family now, he reminded himself. Besides, this particular girl looked pretty harmless, and he smelled no challenge in her scent, so perhaps his aggressiveness was unnecessary.

He dropped the aggressive stance and lowered his gaze before muttering, "Sorry. Natsu. My name is Natsu."

"Natsu? Like the summer?" She approached him timidly but bravely once again.

"Yeah. Like the summer."

"You are the son of the dragon, right?"

Natsu stiffened. Nobody had believed his story so far, only laughing at the _crazy kid who thought he was the spawn of a flying beast_.

"Ye-yeah. I am." Bracing himself, he waited for the mocking and laughter that was sure to come.

It never came.

"Wow, you really are the son of a dragon?! That's amazing! Did you ride on his back? Like, flying with him? Where did you live with him? You probably couldn't live in a house because of his size, could you? Did you live in a castle? Did you meet a princess? Tell me you have met a princess!" Her blue eyes were big and curious, and the questions fell from her lips like a waterfall. Natsu found himself perplex for a second, overwhelmed by the sheer amount of questions.

"I… ah, no, I have never met a princess. Igneel and I lived in a cave in the mountains. And yes, I have ridden on his back and flown with him. Many times, actually. It's really amazing."

"Really? Oh my gosh, that must be wonderful! Tell me about it! How does it feel to be so high? Were you scared?" So much fascination in her eyes. It was kind of contagious. Encourage by her enthusiasm, Natsu found his tongue unrolling and his lips parting with excitement.

"Yes! Flying is the most awesome thing ever! And no, heights don't scare me! I'm not scared of anything! I'm the proud son of a dragon, I have nothing to fear!"

"Oh, I would be sooo scared! I mean, you could fall and die!"

"Even if I fell, dad would be there to catch me. He's super strong and fast, he can do anything! He wouldn't let me die."

"Oh, Natsu, your dad sounds incredible!"

"He is! Ah…" Her name. What was her name again? Had she said it? No, he had forgotten to ask! How rude! Igneel would be angry at him!

"Ahh… girl… what's your name?"

She staggered, seeming to realize that she had also forgotten to present herself. She bit her lip with a nice pink in her cheeks and smiled bashfully.

"My name is Lisanna."

"Lisanna? That's a nice name!"

Her eyes widened, the surprise evident.

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Nobody had ever told me that…"

"Well, they should because it's a really pretty name."

Her mouth opened with surprise while her face fell with shyness to hide her blush.

"Thank you very much, Natsu."

"Hey, do you want to be friends?"

Her eyes snapped to him once more, full of glee and childhood innocence.

"I would love to! We can be best friends!"

"Yeah! Best friends forever!"

"Okay, from now on, we will be best friends."

She smiled again, and Natsu realized her smile was different to the ones he saw every day. It wasn't mocking, or challenging, or condescending, like the ones the other kids, or even adults had. No, her smile was… kind. _Warm._

And suddenly, her eyes didn't remind him of ice anymore. It reminded him of the sky he used to plough through on Igneel's back, and the shiny lapis lazuli that doted the walls of his cave. It reminded him of peacefulness. It reminded him of home.

It felt nice to be around her.

"Hey, Natsu?"

They were in their secret hideout, the one only both of them knew about and the dragon egg they had found was resting aside. Not only was Lisanna a lot nicer than the rest of the stupid kids (like the popsicle stripper or Erza), but she could also do some really cool magic that changed her body form into those of animals- and she had transform into this really amazing giant bunny, and had constructed their super-secret-awesome cabin all by herself! She was beyond incredible, in Natsu's humble opinion.

"Don't call me Natsu! I'm the Mighty Igneel, remember?!"

They had been playing dragons and knights and Natsu had been fully immersed in his role of a powerful dragon that had kidnapped the princess (AKA Lisanna's doll). Lisanna, of course, was the white knight who was supposed to defeat the dragon to rescue the princess because, having such a cool magic, what other role could she play? The knight was just perfect for her!

However, Lisanna had had some complains- saying that she wanted to be the princess and Natsu should be the knight, or something like that. The boy, honestly, considered that stupid. Of course, _he_ should be the dragon. He was Igneel's son, for crying out loud! And Lisanna should be the knight because without knight there wasn't any way of playing, so… yeah, Natsu didn't really get her complaints.

"We have already been playing this for a long time… can't we play something else?" she asked with a small frown, stopping Natsu from the awesome movement he was about to make.

"What? Why, are you tired or something?"

"I'm not, but I just… would like to play something else".

Something else. Okay, Natsu could work with that.

"What would you like to play? We can play tag, or hide and seek… although I would be able to smell you out in hide and seek so it would be like cheating… so we should play tag instead-"

"Natsu, do you remember that movie Master had us watching in the guild the other day? The one with the magic war, and the boy of a prophecy?" Lisanna had sat down and was patting the place besides her.

"Ahh… yeah, sure," Natsu mumbled, sitting beside her. The only thing Natsu remembered was that the Master had had the brilliant idea to sit down the kids in front of a TV screen to try to appease them for a while. A brilliant idea that lasted only ten minutes and was ruined the moment Elfman fell asleep over a surprised Gray, who obviously didn't like one bit of the bulky kid falling over him, and had shoved him recklessly towards Erza. Needless to say, a raging albeit expected brawl started. And of course, Natsu had been a part of it. He didn't remember much of what had happened after Mirajane knocked him cold.

"Well, you know how the boy and the girl… kiss… at the end of the movie?" Lisanna blinked innocently, a shy smile on her face.

"Honestly? You sister kind of prevented me from watching that part, Lis."

"Oh." This seemed to halt her train of thought. She bit her lip and looked down in disappointment. How weird. What was so important with the movie? Why had she brought it up? "But, don't you ever wonder about it?"

"About what?"

"About kissing! Adults do it all the time. Sometimes I wonder why they do it, or what it feels like." She was blushing and twisting her hair, and her smell had taken a nervous shade some seconds ago. "Does that ever happen to you?"

"I… well, no, it never crossed my mind. What's this whole kissing thing about, anyway? Igneel never told me anything about it."

She blinked at him slowly, as if he had spoken in another language.

"Natsu…" Her eyes were big, and staring at him with perplexity. "Don't you know what kissing is?"

"It's some kind of magic?" he asked, honestly curious.

"No, silly! That's what you do when you really like someone. You kiss them. With your lips."

"With my lips?"

"Yeah, like this." She grabbed his hand and took her to her face, making a smooching sound when her lips connected to his skin. "That's a kiss. But when two people really like each other, then they kiss each other on the lips. Husbands and wives kiss on the lips."

"Do humans really do that?" Natsu's eyes were set in the spot of skin that this so called "kiss" had landed on. It felt weird, like a tingling sensation. Igneel had never talk to him about something like this, and in fact, Natsu doubted dragons had a custom as such. You know, with the lack of lips and everything.

"Yes, we do. It's supposed to be really nice."

They fell quiet for a minute, this new piece of information setting in Natsu's memory.

"Hey… don't you want to know how it feels like?"

"Feels what?"

"Well, kissing!" Her eyes were sparkling with genuine curiosity. For some unknown reason, Natsu felt his face heating up; something that was extremely weird, considering that his magic allowed him control over his body temperature. "Don't you wanna try kissing on lips, just to know how it feels like?"

"I… I'm really not interested in it, Lis. I think it's kind of gross," Natsu said averting his eyes and fixing his gaze in the floor, a little bit upset with the whole situation. Why couldn't they go back to playing dragons and knights? That was way more fun than this whole kissing thing.

"Oh… uhmm… okay, sorry I bothered you with this". She sounded off, like disappointed. It was enough to make Natsu lift his eyes again, and he found her shyly looking away, twisting her hands with nervousness and a small pout on her lips. Red lights and deafening sirens turned on in Natsu's head as panic invaded him. Lisanna looked like she was about to cry! Mirajane would kill him!

"H-hey, Lis! What's wrong?! You are not bothered by this, are you? It's just kissing! Nothing especial, just a weird thing adults do!" He said as he awkwardly put his hands on her shoulders in a sort of attempt to comfort her. Natsu had never needed to comfort someone before. It was usually Igneel cheering _him_ up, so he didn't really know what to do in this kind of situation. He was acting purely on instinct, based on what he had seen at the guild.

Lisanna bit her lip as she tried to hide her unshed tears. A difficult task, considering how big her eyes were. But still, she sniffled away the pain of his rejection and rubbed the back of her hand over her eyes.

"I know… s-sorry," she hiccupped. "I just… you know… since every girl kisses with the handsome guy at the end of movies, I thought I would like to know how it felt like… but I understand if you consider it something stupid."

"Well, I…" Natsu bit off the end of the sentence. What could he answer? This whole kissing thing wasn't a big deal for him, but it seemed like it was for Lisanna. And he didn't want to make her cry! What kind of friend would he be if he made his best friend cry? Definitely a horrible one! Igneel would be mad at him if he found out that Natsu had made a friend cry. So he really needed to fix this, or else his dad would be angry at him when he found him. Besides, making Lisanna cry just didn't feel right for him.

"Lis… ehmm… you know, if it is so important to you, then I don't really mind doing it." The words were almost inaudible since he practically chewed them out, and was facing the other side of their hiding place, with a heavy blush tainting his cheeks. So Lisanna, having the hearing of a normal human being, barely heard them. Her head shot up and her now dry eyes looked at him curiously.

"Natsu… what did you say?"

"I said I don't mind doing it!" he shouted. Why was he so embarrassed about this whole ordeal? It was just stupid kissing.

The harsh response made her spring back a little, blinking with surprise.

"Natsu… if you don't want to do it you don't have to. I was just curious, that's all."

"I already said I would do it, so let's just get on with it." He faced her again, planting his hands over his knees and straightening his back. Natsu Dragneel didn't go back on his words. Igneel had thought him better than that.

But now Lisanna seemed unsure. She was fidgeting again and her eyes rolled everywhere avoiding his face. Natsu wondered just what was bothering her now.

"What's wrong, Lis?"

"Well… I'm about to give my first kiss!" she snapped suddenly, like it was something obvious. "A girl's first kiss is supposed to be something important! It should be romantic!"

"Eh?" Romantic? A first kiss? Why should a first kiss be special? Why should kisses in general be special? It was just touching of lips. Natsu found it rather gross, to be honest. But he had already decided to go through with it, and had told Lisanna he would do it, so might as well make it right.

"Okay. I don't know anything about romantic stuff so you are gonna have to tell me, got it?" he said looking seriously in her eyes.

The girl looked taken aback by this, but she squared her shoulders and a firm line set on her forehead.

"Okay, first of all, we are gonna need to close our eyes."

"Eh? What for?"

"Well, because it's less embarrassing that way!"

It made sense.

"Got it, my eyes are closed," he said as he complied.

"Now…, we will count three and we will do it. The moment we say three, we will close our eyes, lean towards each other and do it".

"Roger." He opened his eyes once more and turned his body to face her. Lisanna was fidgeting shyly and worrying her lips. Like some sort of disease, he found her nervousness was contagious. His stomach was eating itself in knots.

"One," they said together, looking deadly into each other's eyes.

"Two." Lisanna's blushing cheeks looked rather cute. Hmm. How weird.

"Three."

Eyes closed to the point of wrinkles, there was bumping of noses and a loud "smooch". Natsu felt something weird in his lips, like a moistness that wasn't his own, but other than that nothing really different. They separated immediately and blinked at each other for some awkward seconds.

Lisanna scowled with confusion.

"That… wasn't what I was expecting," she mumbled, looking down.

Natsu watched her frown with a scowl of his own. So much preparation and it really hadn't been a big thing. It was almost anti-climatic.

"Well… what were you expecting?" he asked, truly curious.

"Ahm… I don't know." Her eyes rolled upwards while she looked for the words to describe her feeling, biting her inner cheek. "Movies always make it look so special. I thought there would be fireworks or music".

Natsu couldn't help the small giggle that escaped him. The girl's gaze fell back to him, outrage.

"What are you laughing at?!"

"Fireworks?" Natsu asked, covering his mouth with his hands in a poor attempt to conceal his laugher. "Lis, this isn't a movie!"

"I know! Sorry! I just thought it would be something better, not this!" Her cheeks had puffed with embarrassment. Such a disappointment! And here she had thought kissing would be life changing. It was just like the kisses Mira-nee would give her on her forehead to say goodnight, only this one was messier. She wouldn't be kissing anyone on the lips for a long time. It wasn't worth it.

"Huh," she mumbled, lost in thoughts. "Why do you think adults make such a big deal about it?"

"Dunno. Maybe they haven't got anything better to do, and that's why they think kissing is great. I feel sorry for them."

"Yeah, I feel sorry too," she agreed shrugging.

"Anyway, do you wanna go back to playing something else?"

"I need to go back to the guild. It's getting late, Mira-nee will be worried."

"Okay, then let's go!"

Natsu picked up the dragon egg from the floor and they exited their hut with idle chatter. Children laugher echoed among the trees, melting with the birds' singing and the natural music of the woods.

"Come on, Natsu! I want to eat cupcakes!"

Her smile was the biggest he had ever seen, and her eyes shone with happiness that was contagious. Natsu felt like that happiness could rub on him, crack the ice his soul had been frozen in since the day his dad left. Chase the cold away.

She was warm.

And Natsu knew they would be best friends forever.

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 **Author's note:** So, did you like it, guys? I'm planning this story to be a series of interconnected one-shots, telling the progress of Natsu and Lisanna's relationship. Please tell me what you think, and if you have any suggestions, I would love to hear them!


	2. 14 years old

**Author's note:** I'm so sorry that this took so much to be published! I had a hard case of writer's block and the words just wouldn't come out! Ah, but here's the chapter, I hope you enjoy reading it!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail or any of its characters- Hiro Mashima does. The only profit I make from this fiction is the feedback I get from my readers. Oh, and this chapter was once again beta-ed by _soshoryuu_.

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 **Chapter 2: 14 years old**

" _Natsu."_

 _It was dark. He could barely make his surroundings. It was Lisanna's voice but… different somehow. Muffled. Almost as if she was speaking to him from underwater._

" _Help me."_

 _He spun around, looking for the owner of the voice, but couldn't find the girl anywhere. A cave stood in front of him, he realized. Natsu knew the cave. Would recognize it anytime. He had grown up in it after all. Had almost died in it too._

" _Natsu…"_

 _Panic seized up his body as the wind started to pick up around him. A couple of raindrops fell before a full storm took form. Trees shook under the wind's ferocity and the roar of thunder made his insides tremble. It was all too familiar, almost too much. The entrance of the cave was a black hole carved from the walls of the mountains, deep and unforgiving. He could not go in there. He remembered the cold all too well. He could never go inside of it again._

" _Natsu… help me!"_

 _But Lisanna was in there now. Was she cold? Had the frost gotten to her? He needed to help her! But fear had him paralyzed, and his legs refused to move. Dark memories buried deep in his brain resurfaced to take hold of his sanity. Memories of frostbite and pain, of hopes crushed and abandonment. No, he could never go in there again. He would die if he did!_

" _Natsu…"_

 _Her voice was dying away. No, no, no… no, Lisanna could not go through the same thing he had! He would die before letting something like that happen! He would rip monsters apart and stand up to the most merciless of storms to protect her._

 _So he willed his legs to move even though everything inside of him implored him to run away. The fear was still there, threatening to tear him to pieces if he dared to take even one step more towards that dreaded cave. Only death waited in there, the fear told him, a painful and lonely death at the hands of the frost._

 _But Lisanna was in there too, and she needed him and he would crush his fears down for her._

 _The first thing he noticed when he stepped inside was that it was humid. And silent. It was a sharp contrast with the noises of war the wind was putting up against everything outside. He could see his own breath turning into a foggy mist in front of him. The walls dripped in a steady pit-patter that echoed throughout the mountain, breaking the black silence the cave was immersed in. It felt like entering a mausoleum, dark, and cold, and smelling of death._

" _Natsu…"_

 _The whimper snapped Natsu awake, and only then he realized he had been frozen in place. He had to keep moving. Lisanna needed him._

 _One torturous step after the other, he forced himself to delve into the darkness. His eyes struggled to snatch the faintest gleam of light, but even with his dragon's sight it was difficult to see anything at all. His stomach churned in a million knots. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was raw dry. He suddenly understood what people meant when they spoke of claustrophobia. He felt like the walls were closing around him, choking the air out of him._

 _His foot stumbled with something hard, and he tripped over it._

" _Dammit," he cursed as he stood up and turned around to see what the hell had interposed in his way._

 _He gagged as an icy fist grabbed his heart._

 _Lisanna's eyes were looking at him, piercing through his soul, big, hollow and lifeless. Her normally milky skin was tainted blue, and her hair looked stiff and oily. She laid still, frost covering her figure, her lips swollen with blood and parted open in her dying breath._

" _Where were you, Natsu?"_

* * *

"Natsu!"

He woke up desperately gasping for air. His lungs were hurting and his eyes stung with tears. His world was a blurry mess, images mixing in front of his eyes in an uncontrollable spiral. He was unable to tell if he was still in the cave or not, was unable to tell if he was alive or not. But there was a ghosting pain in his lungs, so he figured that if he still needed to breath, then he must not have kicked the bucket yet.

A soft paw caresses his arm, and he looked up to find a bush of blue hair and big eyes looking at him worriedly.

"H-happy?"

He was startled at the sound of his own voice; hoarse and fearful.

"I-I was trying to wake you up, Natsu, but you wouldn't open your eyes, a-and you were trembling and crying! It was scary, Natsu!" Happy was fucking crying, and in the midst of his confusion Natsu didn't know how to calm him down.

A ripping pain hit his insides suddenly. Moving Happy out of the way, he tried to scramble out of his hammock and get to the bathroom, but he hadn't given two steps before a violent wave shook his guts and he was throwing up all of his dinner.

"Natsu! We need to take you to the doctor!"

A groan managed to come out from the mess of misery the boy was. He swallowed up another heave by sheer will power. There were tears in his eyes; his body was soaked in sweat and weak from the effort of puking. He tried to reach the table beside his hammock, but his trembling hand slipped and fell back to the floor again.

This sucked. Everything fucking sucked. Suddenly, staying on the floor until the end of times like the piece of trash he was currently feeling like didn't seem like a bad idea at all. Trash didn't have to worry about cleaning the vomit. Or calming Happy down, who was flying around the room with desperation that was borderline panic.

Oh, crap. Happy!

"Happy…" Dammit, since when was talking such a hard thing to do? "Ca-calm down, buddy… I'm okay," he said as he stood up with unsteady legs.

"Well, you don't look okay! Natsu, you just threw up, you are sick!"

"'M not," he mumbled as he climbed up the hammock again. Decidedly, he could deal with clean ups tomorrow morning. He was feeling like shit right now. "It was just the nightmare, Happy. I'm fine now, I swear."

The kitten didn't look convinced at all. He disappeared from the room only to come back a couple of seconds later with a glass of water in paw. He handed it to Natsu, and said boy accepted eagerly. He hadn't realized just how thirsty he was. His throat felt like sandpaper, rough and full of the taste of bile.

"Take little sips, please." Happy laid down over Natsu's chest to peer at him with anxious eyes. "What happened, Natsu? What was that dream about?"

For a brief moment, Natsu considered telling Happy about it. But that moment had a short life; Natsu discarded the idea immediately. He didn't want to bother his friend like that.

So he did what he knew best. Put a smile on his face (albeit a tired one), and eased off his friend's worries.

"It's okay. I was hurting a little bit before, but I'm fine now," he said as he sipped from the glass.

The kitten didn't look satisfied.

"Don't you want to call Lisanna? Maybe she will know how to help you."

Natsu coughed on the water at the mention of the girl's name. Images of the dream came back to him, vivid and wrecking and horrible. Blue skin and bloody lips. Lisanna's eyes forever opened in a hollow stare.

He shuddered, trying to dissipate what was left of the dream. Yes, that was right, a _dream._ Just a dream that wasn't anywhere near reality. Lisanna was safe, sleeping in the warmth of her cozy bed, with her elder siblings looking after her. And with Mirajane nearby, no living soul would dare to come near her. Yes, Lisanna was safe and he had nothing to worry about. This was just his PTSD trying to get the better of him, as the Master had once told him.

"It's alright, buddy. We don't need to wake Lisanna up for a stupid dream," he assured him as he stroked the fur behind Happy's ears. "We'll go see her tomorrow, okay?"

The kitten still looked unsure, his usual sarcasm buried under concern for his best friend.

"Please tell me if you need anything at all, will you?"

His tone was so worried, and his eyes so innocent and his small claws were digging deep into Natsu's skin, as if afraid the boy would crumble if he let go. Compassion wormed its way into Natsu's chest, tainting his voice.

"Of course, buddy. Do you want to sleep in my hammock tonight?"

"I'm a grown cat! I can sleep by myself," he said as he stood up and crossed his arms over his chest. His words sounded outraged, but his tiny body was still quivering with fear.

"Oh, but _I_ am the one who had the nightmare here! _I_ am the one who doesn't want to sleep alone. Would you do this for me, Happy? Sleep here with me?"

"Oh, well…" The cat seemed to consider it for approximately one second and a half, before flopping down and snuggling into Natsu's neck. The boy chuckled and petted his head.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah…"

The room was soon filled with light purrs. Natsu closed his eyes and tried to lull himself to sleep with Happy's purring. But every time his lids closed and blackness filled his vision, lifeless blue eyes appeared in front of him, leaving him with a sour taste in his mouth and the ghost of a chill running down his spine.

He sighed.

He didn't get much more sleep that night.

* * *

"Natsu had a nightmare yesterday."

"Happy! Shut up!"

"He did?" Lisanna's concerned eyes turned to him, demanding answers. Natsu spluttered, blushing furiously. Why was it so hard to form a coherent sentence when she looked at him that way?

"It was just a stupid dream! Nothing to worry about!"

"He's lying! He was so scared he puked!"

"For God's sake, would you shut up, you stupid cat?!"

"Mama, he called me stupid!"

"Natsu, apologize!"

The boy groaned and did nothing to conceal his irritation. Crossing his arms and looking aside, he grumbled:

"I'm sorry Happy, for calling you stupid. Forgive me?"

"Humm, I don't know." The cat leaned his chin over his paw. "I'm going to have to think about it…"

"Oh, come on!"

"Happy..." This time it was the cat the one who was faced with Lisanna's stern gaze. Natsu swore sometimes the girl resembled a little bit too much to her hellish older sister. "Come on, accept his apology."

Happy giggled with mischief before jumping to the air, wings unfold.

"Okay, I accept it. But you will have to buy me fish!"

"I will, I will. Geez, you are worse than a diva!"

"Mind your language, you still need to make up to me!"

"Come on, boys, can we stop fighting for five minutes? Please?"

Natsu stiffened, meeting those sky-like eyes and feeling kind of numb underneath then. Lisanna was looking at him with that pleading smile that made his heart stutter like a goddam fool. Why was it that he was never able to think clearly when she looked at him like that? It cracked his nerves apart.

"Whatever, Lis. It's not such a big of a deal anyway," he mumbled standing up from the bench they had been sitting at and walking away. He needed to put distance between them, and talk to his heart and see if maybe it could calm down a little. That hard pounding in his chest was becoming annoying.

"Hey, Natsu, wait for me!" He heard her said behind him as she stood up. Happy took off flying high above them, his shadow dancing on the sand.

They had been hanging around in the Magnolia's bay, chilling under the shade of a sakura tree. The day had swept by calm and uneventful. Natsu had tried looking for a mission to go, something challenging that required his full attention. Something that would force him to focus in the current task, and stop his mind of wandering back to the nightmare that had decided to haunt him during daylight too. But there were only easy tasks available that could be finished in the span of a morning and Natsu was left with nothing to do and way too much time to think. Exactly the thing he wanted to avoid right now.

So he ended up inviting Lisanna for a walk at the bay. Happy had insisted in spending time with her today. The cat was still worried about him, and wouldn't stop pestering him until he agreed to invite her for a stroll.

"So, a nightmare, huh?"

His first instinct was to brush off the subject. Natsu didn't like opening up to people, he wasn't really good at that kind of stuff. He simply buried his pain under fists and missions and fire and hoped for the best. It had always worked before. _He_ was the one to comfort and cheer people up, and not the other way around.

But Lisanna knew him far too well. She would straight realize he was hiding something from her. For some reason, the easy and fake smiles he always put on his face around others never worked with her.

"Yeah." Natsu kicked off a small rock. It rolled innocently until it stopped a couple of feet ahead of them. He shoved his hands in his pockets before answering. "A really horrible one."

"Was it… you know… the one of the cave?"

Lisanna knew about the day Igneel disappeared. The day he, a fire dragon slayer, had almost died from hypothermia. Of course she knew. Save for the Old man, she had been the only person he had managed to tell. It had been a couple of years ago, when they were twelve or so. They had a sleepover at her house, staying up late playing Monopoly and watching horror movies. They had pitched a tent with bed sheets to replace their secret hideout, flashlights their only source of light. It kind of gave a mysterious air to the whole ordeal. Under Lisanna's and Happy's awed stare, Natsu told ancient stories of dragons his father had told him once. When they had finally gone to sleep, Natsu did it with Lisanna's smell close to his nose, sailing him to good dreams.

But somewhere along the night the dream ties pulled them apart. Natsu squirmed away from their friends ended up on the other side of their made up tent. As the tendrils of nightmares began to take over his unconscious mind, his body began to move in panic. The _cold_ was there, threatening to snatch him away from the new life he was trying to build. In his sleep, he trashed and threw kicks and punches until he ended up pulling down the bedsheets and their shelter came down around them.

He woke up crying, with a really scared Lisanna calling out his name. Coming back to reality was like a blow in the gut, it kicked all the air out of his lungs. Darkness surrounded him, panic was controlling his body. Only when Happy turned on the light, recognition was able to pass through his confusion.

" _Natsu, what… what happened?"_

His two best friends were looking at him with worried eyes, so caring and understanding that Natsu broke then and there. He told them about the nightmare, about the day in the cave, about the fear, about the _cold_. They had listened silently, Lisanna nodding and encouraging him to keep speaking every time he seemed to lose himself in the past.

He had ended up exhausted, eyes dry from crying them out. The tent had been destroyed, so they all squeezed into Lisanna's bed to sleep what was left of the night. But he had felt incredibly lighter, and this time both Lisanna and Happy embraced him tightly and refuse to let him go for the rest of the night. He could never admit just how good he had felt in that cuddly hug.

They had only grown closer after that night. Natsu felt every day more at ease with Lisanna's presence. Not that he hadn't felt like that since the beginning, but having confessed to her about his deepest secret, his worst nightmare… it felt freeing, somehow and he loved the fact that there were no more secrets between them anymore.

But this thing, this secret could hurt Lisanna. Natsu wanted to keep her safe above everything else.

Natsu thought carefully of his words before answering.

"Yes, I was in the cave but… it wasn't the same nightmare. Some things had… changed."

"Changed? How?" Lisanna's face was really close to his. She had moved closer to him during their walk. Now, she seemed to realize about this, because she moved out of Natsu's personal space with pink cheeks. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she said, looking straight ahead.

"No, no, it's okay. It's just…" Natsu bit his lip, unsure of how she would take it. He kicked at the small rock once again, dragging it with him in his way. "Someone else was in the dream this time. I wasn't alone."

"Oh, uhm." Her hands twisted nervously behind back and her eyes were pinned to the sand below. "Was this person a friend or a foe? Did they make the dream better?"

"No," Natsu sighed. "They only made it worse."

Lisanna stopped walking and looked aside. She was obviously unsure of what to say, but was desperately trying to find the words to comfort him.

"I'm… really sorry to hear that, Natsu. I cannot imagine that nightmare going any worse. It must have been horrible."

"Yeah, it was."

Lisanna's posture was respectful, and her scent was none invasive. She was making him understand without words that she wouldn't push him in this matter. She knew just how deep these wounds run.

She always knew. She knew him better than he knew himself. There was so much comfort in Lisanna's presence, something he hadn't been able to feel ever since Igneel left. She smelled of home, and was the only person who managed to push the cold away. He always felt so warm with her. She deserved to know, and he wanted to tell her. Because if he couldn't trust Lisanna to listen to him, then who would?

Impulsively, like everything else he did in life, he spluttered out:

"You were in the dream, Lis."

She snapped her face to him, eyes wide in surprise and concerned. It almost made him regret having told her about it, but the words were already out; it was too late to go back. There was only moving forward now.

"You were inside the cave, and calling for my help… I knew you must have been freezing, so I hurried to go inside. But when I got there, I found you lying on the floor, and the frost had already gotten to you. You were… you were dead. Because I couldn't save you."

Uttering each word was like twisting a knife in his throat. Fuck, why was it so hard to talk about this? His teeth grinded, his fists opening and closing, his shoulders hunched. He couldn't even look at her in the eye. He was reliving the dream all over again, images merciless before him.

"Your skin was blue and you weren't breathing. But your eyes were still open, looking straight at me, pining me there, leaving a hole in my stomach… Fuck, Lis, you were _dead_. When I looked into your eyes, it felt like I was dying too. It was horrible."

He had to bit his lip to keep tears from coming out of his eyes. Why was he even doing this? Why wasn't he cheering and laughing, like his usual self? This pain was nothing; he should have just buried it like he always did. Ignore it and just keep moving forward. There was no time to think about himself. Protecting his friends came first. Thinking about his own pain only brought bad results.

It hurt so much to talk about this. Like scraping on a bad-healed wound, tearing off the skin to let the pus out. It was disgusting, and painful, and damn, why was he even doing this, he should have just let the subject slip-

Lisanna's hand was on his arm, comforting and _warm_ , and no matter what he did, he couldn't take his full-attention from it. The hand slid up his arm slowly, passing his elbow and strolling through his shoulders, climbing through his neck to rest on his jaw. Leaving a trace of goosebumps in its way. She gently stroked his face with her hand, until their eyes met. Natsu couldn't move a single muscle, couldn't breathe. Lisanna had never touched him like this. It had never been so intimate. So close.

She blinked at him slowly, lazily, those white lashes fluttering over her pretty pink check. _Wait, pretty?_ Since when had he thought of Lisanna as "pretty"?

 _Since always, you oblivious flame-brain_.

The obnoxious voice in his head was immediately shut up when cunning smile lifted her lips.

"Hey, why so mournful, Natsu? Nobody has died. It was just a dream, you said it yourself. I'm here, okay? Nothing to worry about."

He wanted to agree, he swore he desperately wanted to. But the dream was too fresh in his mind, painting everything with its ugly colors, and it was hard to see reality clearly when nightmares were fogging his judgment.

He sighed and looked away, everything inside him shaking with insecurity. But Lisanna was having none of it, and this time her other hand came to his face too. It startled Natsu when she suddenly grabbed his head with force, forcing him to look at her and stay there.

"Lisanna, wha-"

"Listen, Natsu. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise you, I'll always stay by your side. We need to raise Happy together, right? You are the father, remember? And I'm the mother. You protect our family, and we nurture it together. Nothing will happen to us because you are here protecting us. Aren't you?"

Her logic seemed so simple to follow. He could protect them, right?

The sound of ice crackling underneath his feet reminded him that in the dream, he hadn't been able to do that. And the consequences had been disastrous.

Sighing, he took her hands in his, prying them away from his face and holding them between them.

"It's not that simple, Lis. And you know it. Anything can happen. What if I'm not strong enough to protect you? What if I'm not fast enough to get to you?"

"But Natsu, the thing is that you don't need to be! We've got friends, remember? There's Mira-nee, and Elf-nii. There's Erza-san, and Gray, and we are all friends, and we all protect each other. You don't need to fight alone. You are not in the streets anymore."

Something she said had his spine going rigid, and she noticed. She always noticed. Damn girl, was too observant for her own good. And she knew him too damn well.

"That's the problem, isn't it? You are still scared to be left alone, like when Igneel left you."

"He didn't leave me, something must have happened to him…"

"The result was the same! You were left alone and that hurt you even more that the cold, right? And you're scared to be left alone again."

This conversation was weighting way too heavy on his knees. He sat down over the sand, crossing his legs and pouting to the side.

"Why are you psychoanalyzing me? Goddammit, Lis."

"I just want to help you, Natsu," she said as she sat beside him, and dammit she sounded so genuine, and he didn't smell any lies coming from her. Not that he ever had to. Lisanna always smelled like truth, had never lied to him. Everyone else did it at some point. Even the Master once lied to him, hiding secrets from him. He could smell the lies in all of them, and it left him wary.

All of them but Lisanna. Lisanna who always spoke with truth, and carefulness, and understanding.

"I don't know if I can be helped, Lis."

The cold was still there. It would never leave him. He knew that as well as he knew the sun would rise with each new day.

"Well, of course you won't be able to be helped. Not if you don't let somebody do it."

There was quietness between them, only broken by the sound of the wind and the waves crashing in the shore. Happy had flown far down the coast, landing on some rocks and leaning over the seashore, trying to eventually catch fish.

Insecurities weighed heavy on Natsu's back, making his resolve creak like the ice of his dream. Natsu usually headed to battle feeling invincible, but right now it felt like his strength was wavering. Failing him.

Something in his silence must have talked to her, because her head bumped his shoulder and stayed there. When he looked down he found lapis lazuli eyes looking up to him under long lashes with a compassionate smile.

"You are always there to catch us when we fall, Natsu. Let me be there for you, and catch you when you are weak. It's okay to be weak, sometimes."

Natsu wanted to believe her because Lisanna smelled like truth, and his nose had never failed him before. She was right. She had to be.

"I don't think I can forget this dream," he sighed finally.

"I don't think you should," she said then, surprising him. Her voice was low and intimate, speaking at only inches from his face. "Don't forget it; but use it as fuel to make yourself stronger. If you don't want something like that to ever happen, then keep training to prevent it."

A slow smile crept on his lips, and hers were soon to follow. They shared a knowing look, saying more with their eyes than their lips ever could. And there it was again, Lisanna's warmth slipping through his skin, finding his core and making him stronger than any training could.

"That's what I'll do, then," he whispered close to her face.

Finding his confidence again was easier than he had thought so when she was smiling to him like that.

She stood up suddenly, shaking her shorts to get rid of any sand that was stuck there.

"Besides, Natsu, if I ever froze, I only need my dragon best friend to unfreeze me with his fire breath, right?" She smiled mischievously, looking down at him and offering her hand.

Now his smile was outright cocky. He took her hand and stood up beside her.

"You can count on that."

"I know I can." She closed her eyes with a bright grin and began walking to where Happy was. Natsu followed right behind.

Magnolia's bay was rocky, and the sand was sticky and hard. Not a good place to spend a summer day, but walking down the beach and climbing up the rocks had become sort of a tradition to them. As they grew up and childish play was slowly forgotten, other interests came into view.

Natsu felt the stupid urge to hold her hand.

They used to hold hands all the time when they were young. It was natural, meaningless, as normal as eating together, or playing around. But somewhere along the way, holding hands became something different. Something _else_. And just like that, the comforting gesture had stopped happening between them. Natsu wondered just when that change had happened.

It was kind of disappointing. Right now, he almost felt like he needed to take that pale hand in his. But holding hands was almost an edgy move now. What if Lisanna didn't like it? It could make things terribly uncomfortable between them.

Oh, to hell with it.

"Hey, Lis, can I hold your hand?"

She didn't answer, not with words at least.

Her fingers laced with his own and it felt so right, this little gesture.

Her hand was warm, and she was warm, and Natsu knew that as long as he had Lisanna by his side, the coldness would stay away, locked in his mind as just a harmless nightmare.

* * *

 **Author's note:** Once again, thanks so much for reading, guys! Hopefully, chapter three won't take so long to be published. I'll admit I let many of my personal headcanons about Natsu's past slip in this fic, but meh. That's what fanfiction is for, right? If you enjoyed the fic, please let me know with some feedback, please? Thank you! ^_^


	3. 15 years old

**Author's note:** Well guys, the third chapter is here! I want to leave a speacial thanks here for MaidenWarrior and Casey10rok. You guys are wonderful and give me the motivation I need to write! As regards the chapter, I'll just say this was pure self-indulgence, from start to finish. Also, my ice-cream passion lets show. I am not sorry.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail or any of its characters. They belong to Hiro Mashima. The only profit I make from this fiction is the feedback I get from my wonderful readers! As always, this chapter was beta-readed by soshoryuu.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: 15 years old**

There was a time when Fairy Tail members could go to the guild to just drink something and chill, relax after a long mission. That time had been forgotten long ago.

"Come back here, flame-brain! Give me my pants back!"

Ice spikes flew through the guild, chasing after a particularly boisterous pink-haired mage. Said mage's laughter echoed through the guild hall as he waved Gray's pants like a flag. Ice was piling up in the corners from the excess of magic Gray was emitting, much to the rest of the guild members' chagrin. Whenever those two started fighting, it was impossible to rest.

"You want this, ice princess?" Natsu taunted, stepping over a table to give himself some extra-height.

"Of course I do, stupid ash-breath! Give it back!"

Natsu swiftly dodged the punches directed to him and jumped off the table to keep running around.

"Natsu! Gray! Stop this circus, I cannot eat my cake in peace!" Erza's protests fell on deaf ears. Natsu was having too much fun tormenting the black-haired wizard.

A hand grabbed his ankle, throwing him off balance and face down to the floor.

"Ha! I got you!" Gray sang in victory, straddling his back. But Natsu wouldn't be defeated so easily.

"Happy, catch!"

Blue lightening flew past Gray's head, grazing his hair, but too fast for him to react. His pants were snatched away from Natsu's hand and a second after, Happy was fluttering over them with the cloth in his paws, laughing mockingly.

"Gray lost his pants and he can't get them ba-ack!" The cat sang.

"Oh, come on guys! Happy, you too?"

"Enough! The three of you!" Both boys' heads were crushed under Erza's fist, and they whined in protest. "Happy! Come down here and give Gray's pants back!"

The flying cat cowered under Erza's authority. He lowered until he was only feet above the floor and offered the piece of clothing to the red-head.

"I-I am really sorry, Erza-sama."

"Give that back!" She snatched the pants from him and threw them over Gray's aching form. "Here, Gray. Don't let this happen again. You are far too weak, you need to train more!"

"Understood, Erza-sama!"

"And you, Natsu! Stop pestering around!"

"A-aye, Erza-sama!" Both boys embraced each other with fake smiles, pretending like there was nothing wrong with the world. Erza smiled satisfied and walked away.

As soon as she was out of sight they punched each other's faces.

"Stupid flame lizard, what the hell's wrong with you? Are you five years old, that you feel the need to steal my clothes?"

"Shut up, you dumb stripper!"

"Hey!" Gray walked away, awkwardly trying to dress himself.

Natsu sighed and went to sulk at a guild table. Happy landed on his shoulder and joined him in his moodiness.

Natsu was _bored_. Lisanna was out in a mission with Mirajane and Elfman, and he was here, alone, with nothing to do and way too much energy to spare. He was fidgety, and that could never mean anything good to the guild.

"What do you want to do now, Natsu?"

"Dunno, Happy. Stealing Gray's clothes was my last plan to kill time."

Happy sighed.

"We really should have gone to that mission with the Strauss siblings."

"Yeah, we should have. We can ask them to go on their next mission, right? What do you think?"

"I like the idea!" Happy chirped.

Suddenly, the guild doors busted open and a very confident white-haired demon walked in. Mirajane oozed power, imposing respect with just the sound of her high-heels clicking against the wooden floor, and a sinful smirk playing on her lips. Behind her, Lisanna and Elfman followed, less striking but still strong in their own ways.

"Mirajane! You are back, my child!" Makarov greeted them from the counter.

"Yep, and the mission was a success, Master!" She said as she poured the reward money on the counter beside the man to divide the percentage that belonged to the guild. "Weakling monster, village was saved, easy pissy task!"

"Natsu! Happy! I'm back-!" Lisanna's greeting was interrupted by just average guild's confusion.

"MIRAJANE, FIGHT ME!"

A wild Natsu appeared behind Mira, but the girl sent him flying back with a small punch.

"Not now, Natsu, I need to discuss matters with Master. You can show me your new moves later. Go play with Lisanna, she missed you a lot during the mission." She winked at him.

Natsu's next attack was halted when he heard that. Lisanna missing him wasn't that big of a deal. He had missed her too, and it was just normal to miss your best friends when you spent long times without seeing each other, wasn't it? But there was something in the way Mirajane said it that didn't sound quite normal. Something in the way she quirked her eyebrows and the way she smirked. It had his skin crawling for some reason.

"Mira-nee! What are you saying?!" A very mortified Lisanna shrieked.

"Nee-san is right." Elfman appeared from behind and took sit on the counter. "Lisanna wouldn't stop complaining because she said she missed Natsu and Happy. That was not manly at all."

"Elf-nii! Of course it wasn't manly, I'm a girl!" Saying that Lisanna was as red as a tomato was an understatement.

Natsu was still quiet, processing what Mirajane had said, trying to figure out how he felt about it.

"Anyway," Mirajane interrupted. "Go, Natsu, make your girlfriend happy."

To that, he did react. Strongly.

"She's not my girlfriend!" He cried out, feeling his cheeks starting to burn.

"Awww, but you always hang out together!" Said Macao, from his sit at a far table.

"That's right, and you look really cute together," Wakaba agreed.

"That doesn't mean anything!" Natsu was spluttering, unfortunately drawing the whole guild's attention to the matter in hand. Just wonderful.

"Well, you two do look cute." Erza stepped forward, not missing the chance to gossip. "And it's obvious that you care about Lisanna a lot."

"W-well, of course! She's my best friend! Right, Lis?"

Lisanna was silent in her corner, looking more embarrassed with each passing second.

"Are you sure you are only friends? Isn't there something more…?"

"No! There's nothing about it!"

"Natsu, be a man and accept your feelings for my sister!"

"Shut up, Elfman!"

"Well, look at the fire lizard!" Gray raised his voice from his place at the bar, not missing the chance to take revenge on the dragon slayer. "You really are a stupid flame-brain, aren't you? A girl seems to like you for once and you just bluntly ignore her feelings. You are definitely gonna die a virgin, Natsu."

Natsu's face grew unbearably hot and that was saying something, considering he regularly ate fire for breakfast.

"S-she doesn't like me, and I don't like her and you are one to talk, popsicle! No girl would ever want to be with you, they would freeze cold!"

"When are you guys going to make your relationship official?" Another random voice in the guild interrupted and that was it.

"We are just friends! There's absolutely nothing between us and there will never be! Now shut up all of you! This is none of your business anyway."

Natsu was way past his limit of standing bullshit. Lisanna had been silent during the whole ordeal, biting her lip and blushing to her ears. She was emitting a distressed scent, putting Natsu's every protective instinct on alert. He growled at no one in particular, but at everybody at the same time. He was so pissed off, and he so wanted every fucking member of the guild to know it.

He snatched her hand and dragged her out of the guild walking with long strides.

"N-natsu! What are you doing?" A very confused Lisanna asked. The flush still hadn't faded from her cheeks. If anything, it grew bigger with the guild's reaction.

"Yay! And the couple leaves together!"

"Where are the newlyweds going?"

"Stay for a while longer!"

"All of you fuck off!" was the last thing Natsu said before disappearing behind the guild door and starting to run, sweeping the girl along so fast that not even Happy was able to follow.

"Where are we going?!"

"Somewhere nice!"

Well, that answer didn't seem to be the correct one because she shrieked, " _What?!_ "

Natsu finally pulled to a stop when they were almost at Magnolia's main square. At this point Lisanna was breathless, not being used to running as much as the dragon slayer who in turn hadn't even broken a sweat.

"Na-natsu…" she panted, "why are we here? Why did you have to drag me all the way…?"

"You were upset." He answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I had to take you out of there. Now, let's see, what can we do to change the mood…?"

Lisanna blinked at him with a mixture of surprise and bewilderment. Then she looked aside and sighed, shadows dancing in her downcast eyes, her hands playing behind her back. Natsu scowled. Why was she still smelling so distressed?

"Hey Lis, what's wrong? It's okay, those jackasses are only out for trouble, and you shouldn't be bothered by what they say. Come on, let's go eat ice-cream, it'll be my treat!"

"Did you really mean what you said?"

Natsu stopped mid-sentence, clenching his jaw. Lisanna looked so beaten. She should _never_ look like this.

"Mean what? What are you talking about, Lis?" Natsu needed to find the reason of Lisanna's unhappiness and deal with it _immediately_.

"You know, that thing you said. That there could never be anything between us… and all that stuff."

"W-what? That's the thing that's bothering you?"

Her eyes snapped to his and oh Lord. It was like the ocean in the middle of a storm. Restless and deep and you could fucking drown in them. Well, at least Natsu kind of felt he was drowning under that stare.

Yes, this was the thing that was bothering her. A lot.

"Hey, those assholes wouldn't stop teasing us, and then that idiotic stripper just had to jump and make everything worse-"

"Did you mean it?"

Natsu's tongue halted once again. He seemed to be having trouble finding what little eloquence he normally had. In his defence, anybody would, when faced with those cerulean eyes. Those eyes that tied his stomach in knots and left his face burning with a blush that wasn't of shame or embarrassment, but of something else. Something that pulsed from his stomach to his face, passing through his chest and leaving everything warm inside. Something Natsu couldn't quite decipher yet.

"I…"

Did he mean it? Did he mean what he had said?

"I…"

Did he actually see no possibilities of being in a relationship with Lisanna? What were his feelings for her to begin with? Well, the answer that question was obvious. They were best friends! He cared for her, and spent so much time with her, and they always had fun and laughed a lot together, and they were raising Happy, weren't they? She made him feel mature, and was the only person in the guild who actually took him seriously. The only person to mean the question when she asked how was he.

She was nice, and pretty, and a lot of fun to be with, and Natsu felt understood and cared for when he was with her, and he wanted to protect her and spend a lot of time together, and she was so sweet and cute and-

"I don't see why it is so important, Lis," he mumbled, escaping the trap of her eyes. "We… we are friends, aren't we? We care for each other."

He heard her sigh and risked a peek at her. She was hugging her arms and looking aside, a look of almost… _disappointment_ in her features. Natsu bit his lip, feeling useless. What could he do to help? Who did he need to fight to take that expression away? What was the problem? She seemed frustrated… at whom? At _him_? Was _he_ the problem?

Wait… was he?

"Err… Lis…?"

"It's okay," she exhaled finally, looking up to him with something akin to resignation in her smile. "I don't mind waiting."

"Eh? Waiting for what?"

She laughed then, and it was so genuine that Natsu could only feel relieved that she didn't seem to be upset anymore.

"Hey, are you still going to buy me ice-cream?"

He lit up at that, feeling in his domain again.

"Sure, let's go!"

They were silent as they walked through Magnolia's main street, but that was okay. They had always been fine with silence. Sometimes words were useless anyway. Some traces of sadness still lingered in her eyes, though, and Natsu vowed to erase them.

"What flavour do you want? This is my favourite ice-cream shop, they have so many different flavours…" Natsu babbled as he held the door for her.

"Hmm, dunno. There's so many! I don't know what to choose…"

Natsu paid for two cones and they approached the counter where a young lady asked them for their flavours, and Natsu immediately answered with what obviously was his standard order. He asked for Super Chocolate and Oreo Cream, while some minutes after his was delivered Lisanna settled for Kinder Chocolate and Strawberry Milkshake.

Natsu gawked at her, a somewhat horrified expression in his face. Lisanna returned the look with a raised brow.

"What?"

"Kinder Chocolate? _Seriously?_ When you can have Oreo Cream?"

"What's the problem?"

Natsu felt disarmed, almost deceived. He dramatically looked aside as they made their way out of the shop to sit at the outdoor tables. The day was shining with a cloudless sky as blue as Lisanna's eyes. The summer was reaching its peak and every day was as wonderful as the former.

"I honestly feel betrayed. I don't know you anymore, Lisanna Strauss."

"Oh, such a drama queen! I love Kinder, and I never knew there was an ice-cream flavour of it. I had to try it!" They sat down across from one another, leaning their elbows over the table for comfort.

Natsu smiled. Any hints of her previous unhappiness were completely gone from her face, and he felt rewarded with her smile. He quickly changed his expression to one as comically serious as possible.

"What the fuck Lis, everybody knows Oreos are so much better than Kinder."

"Hey! Kinder chocolate is like, a hundred times better, so creamy and sweet-"

"Yeah, okay, I think you need to go to the doctor and have your taste buds tested because there's something really wrong going on inside your mouth."

"How rude! I'm never speaking to you ever again!"

She reclined backwards on the back of her chair, crossed her legs and looked aside with a petulant look.

"Same thing here, Lis, you are hurting my feelings! How could you choose Kinder over Oreos, that's just insane." Natsu sighed, looking down with a thoughtful expression. He was angling for her curiosity, and smiled internally when she twitched her eyes to him. Capturing her gaze with his greenish stare, he said in the most serious tone he could muster: "I want the divorce. You can tell Happy this was your fault."

"What?" Lisanna was taken aback for only a couple of seconds before she was pouting, puffing her cheeks and wiggling her shoulders with haughtiness. "You know what, I want the divorce too, and I'm staying with Happy from Mondays to Saturdays. You can have him on Sundays."

"Tch- So unfair!"

"Everybody knows the mom gets to stay with the kid most of the time, and the dad sees them on weekends." She said as she took another spoonful of her ice-cream.

"Well, that's totally biased." Natsu reached across with a dexterous hand and started poking at the girl's stomach. The white-haired mage instantly exploded in laughter, trying to back away as much as the chair would allow. "I'm demanding shared custody!"

"I won't grant it!" She said in a fit of giggles. "And if you don't stop with the tickles I'll demand sixty per cent of your properties!"

"Oh, you just try, you sneaky girl! There's only garbage in my house anyway, so good luck getting something of value out of it!"

"I could get your savings!"

"You wouldn't dare."

"Of course I would!"

"Oh, you want war, don't you?"

Natsu scooped as close as he could with the table separating them restricting his movements. But his hand still found its way to poke at the most sensitive of her stomach, while his other hand carefully held his ice-cream cone out of reach. Lisanna squealed and laughed and her giggles mixed with his. She tried to snatch his hand and stop his attack, but Natsu's arm was strong and wouldn't stop its relentless assault.

An old couple passing by whispered and chuckled of "young love" when they saw them, but Natsu was too busy watching Lisanna laugh to pay attention to anything else around him.

"Natsu! Stop it! You'll make me drop my ice-cream!"

"It's Kinder ice-cream anyway!"

"I'll make you buy me another one!"

They wiggled closer, struggling against each other while trying to save their cones from falling to oblivion.

" _Kyaa!_ Stop it!"

Finally, Lisanna grabbed his wrists and managed to tug it away from her stomach. Desperate to get his hand far away from her belly, she pulled it aside without realizing she was pulling his body towards her.

"I said stop it!" She panted breathless.

"You started it." Natsu was drunk with laugher, and Lisanna was in no better state.

But then their eyes met and they noticed just how close they had actually gotten to one another. The giggles slowly faded into nothingness as they stared into each other's eyes, so close that their breaths mingled. Lisanna was panting, pale face flushed and white eyelashes fluttering over her lapis lazuli orbs, lips parted to let her breath out. Angelic. Something glistened in her bottom lip drawing his attention, and he found himself staring at the pearl of cream that was resting there. Wondering how that Kinder chocolate would taste like from her lips.

Wait, what?

He willed his eyes upwards only to find her staring at his lips in return. The sight was doing weird things to his chest, like his ribs couldn't contain his racing heart. Lisanna's eyes fluttered up, meeting his again and suddenly she was leaning forward ever so slightly, and he found out that he was leaning too. Lids suddenly heavy, trembling close. Lips calling to each other in a song Natsu was still unable to understand, but was willing to dance along.

So close.

"Natsuuuu! Lisannaaa!"

The spell was broken and both captives dumped back into reality. They jumped away from each other as if kicked by an electrical bolt. Lisanna looked aside and ducked her head under her shoulders, biting her bottom lip. Natsu had to virtually tear his eyes away from the way her teeth worried at that pink lip.

Happy was flying towards them with an angry look on his face.

"You two totally abandoned me at the guild! And…" He suddenly took notice of the tense air around the wizards. "What's happening here?"

Natsu opened his mouth to answered, but he realized he was speechless. What had just transpired between them?

"We were just eating ice-cream, Happy." It was Lisanna who answered and Natsu could just stare at her as she spoke. "Natsu said he would invite me, so here we are. Maybe you should ask him too, right?"

"Lis, what…?"

"Natsu! Why didn't you invite me too? I also want ice-cream!"

Natsu grumbled, not sure of how many jewels were left in his pocket. There was something nagging at his chest, leaving his throat sour. If only Happy hadn't interrupted, what would have happened?

He glanced at Lisanna, confused at her easy reaction and found her smiling. She looked at him, and the grin in her face was relaxed and genuinely happy. His eyes must have been a clear reflection of the questions that swarmed in his mind, for she sighed and said in a reassuring tone:

"Natsu, it's okay. I already said I don't mind waiting."

She didn't mind waiting. Waiting for what? For him?

In a sudden gust of enlightenment, Natsu realized that _he_ was the problem. She was waiting for him.

"Are you going to buy me ice-cream or not?"

His irritated glare snapped to Happy again and he made his best to keep his temperament levelled.

" _Yes,_ your royal highness, I'm buying you ice-cream."

"Oh, Natsu, you don't need the titles, you can just call me Happy!"

"You little sh-"

The sound of Lisanna's laugher beside him cut him off, and suddenly he wasn't angry anymore. They entered the shop again, Natsu bought the ice-cream and walked outside, this time strolling away from the shop. The girl had finished her treat and was currently licking at the missing drops that had melted on her fingers. Natsu watched her for a moment before throwing what little was left of his dessert and shoving his hands in his pockets.

The comfortable silence that settled after that was only broken by Happy's giggles of delight as he ate his own cone. That is, until Natsu decided to break it on his own.

"You don't have to wait, Lis."

She looked at him with question sin her eyes, but he was looking straight ahead. The questions melted into a pleased, understanding smile and she looked ahead too. His hand slowly discovered itself from his pocket and their knuckles brushed. The way their fingers found each other was as natural as breathing. Simple. Uncomplicated.

She grinned and wrinkled her nose, and when Natsu thought that it was the cutest thing he had ever seen, there was no more doubt in him.

"I'm right here."

* * *

" _Oi, Lisanna! We got a job to do!"_

" _Huh? Elf-nii-chan? Mira-nee? But didn't we just come back from one?"_

" _It's an S-class! We'll back Nee-san up on it."_

" _No fair! What kind of job is it? Can I come too?"_

" _No! I'm against it. A man should protect his family on his own!"_

" _Aw, don't be so stuffy! Take me with you!"_

" _Sorry, Natsu. Maybe next time you can come."_

" _So mean, Mirajane! I really wanted to go!"_

" _Calm down, Natsu. We will talk about the… stuff we were talking about earlier when I come back. Okay?"_

"… _I really want to go with you, Lis."_

" _It's alright. The mission shouldn't take more than a couple of days. I will see you by the end of the week."_

"… _okay…"_

" _Goodbye, Natsu."_

" _Goodbye, Lis."_

* * *

As soon as Natsu woke up, he knew it was bound to be a bad day.

Sweat accumulated on his forehead, ran down his face and got lost under his vest. He was throwing kicks and punches, running around, doing push-ups and abdominals, anything to work out the frustration that had currently possessed him.

It was a really hot day, abnormally so. But it wasn't the kind of heat that Natsu enjoyed, the fire that charged him up and left him full of energy. No, this heat was heavy like it wanted to smash him against the ground, and humid. Damn, you could practically _inhale_ the water in the air. Clouds were covering the sky, locking up the heavy atmosphere in, and he could just _feel_ the humidity bubbling up, waiting to explode. It had to rain sometime today, or at least tomorrow. One could only stand so much heat for a while.

It was taking its toll on the dragon slayer. He was sweaty and twitchy and snappy and felt as heavy as a potato.

Worst of all was the sour feeling in his gut that wouldn't leave him alone. It had bothered him all day, screaming at him that something was terribly _wrong._ His instincts had never betrayed him before, so he looked for the source of his distress but aside from the bad weather, everything was fine.

His gut disagreed with him. And it drove him mad all day, accumulating energy inside of him to the point his skin was itching him and he wanted nothing more than to tear it out to get free from the feeling. He was so insufferable that he was literally kicked out from the guild by an angry Erza.

So he gave in a came home to train. He had a punching bag at the back of his house that was currently being punished with his excess of energy. Happy had stayed at the guild eating fish, since he had done nothing wrong and Natsu insisted that he should stay. He didn't trust being near living creatures in his current state. He was _angry_ , and _restless_ , and he couldn't figure out why. No, he was better alone, working out his rage where he couldn't hurt anybody.

"Natsu!"

The dragon slayer stopped mid-punch and turned to face the flying cat that was approaching with desperation in his face. Instantly, Natsu stiffened. Something was wrong. That thing that his gut had been warning him about the whole day.

"What happened, Happy?" He asked as he ran to meet the cat.

The kitten collided against his chest, a wreck of gasps and sweat. He must have flew as fast as he could have for a long time to end up like this. Meaning something must have definitely gone wrong. Natsu's bad feeling only worsened.

"Okay, easy buddy. Breathe in and out and tell me what happened."

"It's-" Happy was crying. He had fucking tears in his eyes and now Natsu was beginning to get desperate. Just what the fuck had happened?! "It's the Strauss siblings!"

A void swallowed up Natsu's stomach.

"Wh-" Come on, speaking shouldn't be a difficult task. Just unroll your tongue and spill you thoughts out, goddammit. "W-what is it with them?"

"They came back from their mission!" Happy was legitimately crying out now. The tears were running freely down his face. "They're at Magnolia Hospital!"

Somehow, the world became silent after Happy said that. So silent that he could hear his own heartbeat, growing out like an oppressing tambourine threatening to crush his ears.

And the next moment he was running, running as fast as his legs would allow, using only his nose and his instincts as guidance as his head spun a hundred miles a minute. The Strauss siblings had come back from their mission. And they had gone straight to the hospital. If they hadn't gone to the guild's infirmary, that could only mean their wounds were too severe to be treated there. And that meant they were _extremely_ hurt.

"Natsu! Wait for me!"

Happy was struggling to keep up his pace in the air, but Natsu could not afford to slow down. He could not afford to lose one minute. Was Lisanna okay? Was she safe? Mirajane would never allow her to get hurt, right? Surely, the injured one must have been Elfman. Lisanna would never come out hurt from a mission.

Right?

The white building appeared in front of him soon enough. He stormed in, not bothering to stop at the receptionist's desk to ask for information, choosing instead to let his nose lead him. He could hear the protest of nurses and security guards who were following his tracks, but he ignored them. He was a dragon slayer, a hunter by nature, and once a scent was stuck in his nose he would track it down to the end.

He was led to a door in the extensive care section and suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. Dread was eating his stomach away. Why was he at extensive care? Who was the one who needed this kind of treatment?

His nose provided him with the scent of Mirajane, Elfman, Master Makarov and Erza from the other side of the door. But no Lisanna. Where was she? Maybe in another room? Now that he thought about it, he hadn't caught her scent ever since he entered the building. Where was she?

Gritting his teeth, he steeled himself to find out. He turned the knob and entered the room.

Three pairs of eyes turned to him, mournful expressions in their faces. His nose hadn't lied to him; but then again, it never did. Mirajane was resting on one of the beds, her head and torso covered in bandages, but she was awake and that was the important part. Erza and Makarov had been speaking with her before Natsu had interrupted the peace of the room, and were now staring at him with serious eyes. Elfman was in a much worse state. Practically mummified, and apparently in an induced coma, for the amount of drugs he could smell coming off his body.

But Lisanna was nowhere to be seen, and that could only mean one thing. Whatever monster they must have faced during their mission, her elder siblings had protected her with teeth and nails. It was only natural. Both Elfman and Mirajane would die before letting something happen to their baby sister. A whole story was taking form on Natsu's mind. Of strong wizards that fought bravely to protect their sister, but at the cost of their own physical integrity. Strong wizards that laid now in hospital beds to slowly heal their wounds. And Lisanna must be at the cafeteria getting a tea for Mirajane that surely just woke up and asked for something like that.

Natsu's muscles relaxed and he released a breath he had been holding unconsciously. Everything was fine. Lisanna wasn't hurt. He almost felt stupid for having panicked like that.

"Natsu." It was Master Makarov the one who spoke first. His tone was lacking its usual cheerfulness, but that was understandable. Two of his adopted children were hospitalized with critical wounds. Any parent would be worried. "My boy, you got here fast."

The old man was grimacing, like he had eaten something sour. Natsu wondered about that.

"Yeah, Happy told me you guys were back," he said as he looked at Mirajane. She didn't return his gaze. Natsu wondered about it too. "He seemed really worried, and told me you were in the hospital so I… ergh… I kind of freaked out… and came here running all the way."

"Natsu." It was Erza this time, and even thought there was pain in her face, she looked like the one person in the room who concealed it better. "You are going to need to be strong."

…What?

"Why?"

"Something… happened… during the mission." Erza's gaze fell, and the way her fist clenched didn't go unnoticed to Natsu. Just what was happening here?

"Yeah, I… I can see something happened. I mean, whatever you guys faced must have been really big, because it left you in pieces." He laughed awkwardly. The air in the room was humid and oppressing, almost suffocating. There was a fan trying to fight the heat out of the room, but with poor results. Natsu could feel beads of sweat running down his face. "Where… where's Lisanna?"

Heavy silence and frowning expressions were his only answer. Nobody seemed to be eager to talk. They smelled anxious. Nervous.

There was something in the room. Something in the air. Natsu didn't know if it was the heat, the sharp and antiseptic smell of hospital and drugs or what the fuck, but it was driving him insane. His stomach was eating itself away once again. That feeling in his gut, the one that told him something was terribly _wrong_ returned with full force, and he had to grab the door knob just to stay steady.

"Natsu, this is difficult to say, but you need to be strong…"

"Strong? Why?"

"What we are about to tell you is going to be hard to accept."

"But why? What is it so important and whe- just where's Lisanna? Is she at the hospital? I need to see her."

"No, Natsu, she's not. Just. Calm down and let us explain you."

The old man and Erza were undoing themselves trying to talk him into compliance, but Natsu didn't want to calm down. He wanted to know where Lisanna was, _needed_ to know. Every instinct inside of him was screaming at him, warning him not to trust these people. Everything was wrong, he just knew it deep down inside, as well as he knew he _had_ to find Lisanna.

"Look, just tell me where the fuck Lisanna is and then I'll listen to whatever you have to say." His tone was way too loud for a hospital, but Natsu didn't give a damn.

"No, Natsu, you don't understand-"

Why weren't they telling him? Just what the fuck was wrong? Natsu was getting fidgety, violence building up inside of him, aching to come out.

"I don't give a damn if I don't understand, I want to know where Lisanna is!"

"Natsu, please calm down." Erza attempted to step forward, but something in his stance, in the raw energy he was barely able to contain, must have told her not to get too close.

"I don't want to calm down! Where's Lisanna?!"

"If you don't calm down I'm gonna have to force you, Natsu!"

"Just tell me where Lisanna is!"

"Lisanna is dead." Silence fell over the room. Natsu's eyes turned to the person who had spoken. Mirajane was looking at him for the first time since he entered the room, and her gaze was unwavering. Merciless. _Cold_.

It took him a couple of second to process what her words meant. He repeated them over and over in his head, trying to find the secret behind them but still, they made no sense.

"…What?"

The gaze of the demon softened ever so slightly, and suddenly her face was the one of an old woman who had lived through a hundred years, not the one of the young lady that sat in front of him. She sighed and her eyes fell, as if it was too difficult to keep them staring in front of her. Natsu thought that she looked tired. As tired as one could possibly be without being dead.

Finally, she seemed to gather enough strength to at least face the boy's gaze again. Her eyes were lifeless, red and dry. In that moment, Natsu knew those eyes were completely worn out and incapable of crying anymore, because they had already shed every single tear inside of them.

"An accident happened during the mission. It was nobody's fault." There was a firm set in her brow at the mention of these words. "Lisanna died to protect us. She's… she's dead, Natsu. She's gone."

For the second time that day, the world fell completely silent around him. A bell started ringing in his ears. He could see Master trying to talk to him but no words reached his ears. They were on a second plane, unimportant right now. He didn't even realize the moment Happy came flying into the room, crying for him with worry. He detached from everything, unconsciously locking himself up in his own world and then he only had one certainty.

Mirajane smelled like truth. There was no lie in her words. His mind tried to deny it. This could not possibly be true, there- there was _no way_ it could be true!

If anybody else had told him, he wouldn't have believed them. He would have believed it was a sick joke, and demanded real answers. But Mirajane had talked, Mirajane who freaking loved and _adored_ her sister, Mirajane who would never lie about something like this, Mirajane who smelled of _truth_.

There was no way of denying it.

He was falling.

And then he was running out of the room, storming his way down the halls, fucking _escaping_ like a coward. He needed to run, needed to get away. But the words were following him, taunting his ears, haunting him as he made his way down the halls and out of the building.

 _Lisanna is dead. Lisanna is dead. Lisanna is dead, Lisanna is dead, Lisanna is dead Lisanna is deadLisannaisdeadLisannaisdeadLisann-_

As soon as he came out, a wave of heat hit him, shaking his entire body and the crushing sun blinded him for a second. But his feet kept moving on their own accord, taking him far away, to where nobody could find him.

He didn't know where he was going, just knew it needed to be away. Soon enough his house came into view, but he kept running, as if Hell itself was chasing him because it _was._ Hell had broken loose in Natsu's life and now he was scrambling to escape it.

His vision was a blur, but his nose guided him. The scent of trees and wild life surrounded him. Roots invaded the floor, and branches hit his face as he raced through the woods. His lungs burned but it was okay. His soul itself was burning, a little ache in his lungs wouldn't stop him.

A tree came into view and he wasn't fast enough to dodge it. He crushed against it, a hundred splinters sinking into his flesh. But Natsu didn't feel pain. He was too numb, far too gone to feel any of it. He needed to escape, but this stupid tree had gotten in the way.

White clouded his vision, hot, and burning and blinding and before he knew what he was doing his fist slammed against the bark. It was not enough. Not nearly enough, he needed more! One after the other, his fists started to rain on the tree, punishing it with all of Natsu's pain.

Fury. Slowly burning inside of him, bubbling like sticky tar, scaling up his guts. He wanted to scream but felt it wouldn't be enough. Wanted to crush, destroy, grab something between his hands and squeeze until only blood and entrails were left.

For the first time in his life, Natsu felt true need to kill something.

Punch after punch after punch and blow after blow after blow and still it wasn't _enough_. His knuckles dripped carmine; his hands were bloody, his skin moved out of the way to show raw flesh. He must had have broken one or two phalanxes, but Natsu did not feel pain. He only felt fury, fury that was eating him alive, fury that choked him, locking him inside a black mass of frustration he couldn't escape from.

He groaned, powerless. Why wasn't it going away? No matter how many times he punched and beat the bark of the oak tree, the fury wouldn't go away. It only grew, burnt him, swelling his stomach until no space was left inside. It was born in his chest, spread like a cancer, infecting every cell in his body, snaking up his arm and enveloping his fist until with a scream and the most scorching flame he had ever created, Natsu teared a piece of trunk the size of a human skull with a punch.

The wood creaked in agony. Thousands of splinters jumped into the air ignited with flames, dancing like fireflies.

All the energy in his body abandoned him with that punch, leaving him prostrated against what was left of the oak tree. Gasping to recover air that never seemed to reach his lungs. He stayed still looking at his doing for a couple of seconds. The piece of broken log was burning and spluttering sparks. He swallowed through a dry throat. Placing his palms over the tree in order to straighten up, he noticed that, indeed, his hands had transformed into a bloody pulp painted with flesh and blood. In some places you could even see an aching bone showing up.

For some reason, the gory scene didn't cause him repulsion or disgust, not even pain. It was almost as if his brain had disconnected from the rest of his body, abandoning the ship to observe like a mere spectator. He didn't feel a thing. Not sadness, not anger. As if the simmering rage that had lightened up every cell in his body had flown away to leave a cold and still apathy instead.

He almost couldn't feel his body. Limp, like a puppet, his head fell down and splinters sunk in his forehead. It didn't really matter. It wasn't as if he felt pain anymore.

The wind started to pick up around him. Leaves started to dance, and trees began to shake and whistle, almost as if the fury that had possessed him until some minutes ago had left him to seize the forest. A forgotten voice in his brain told him that rain was forecast for today. A storm. One of the big ones.

 _You should go back home_ , that forgotten voice kept whispering to nhim. _It isn't safe here. Storms bring death. You know that better than anyone._

For a moment, everything was silent.

The wind, the trees, his own mind, were lost in a sepulchral stillness.

In front of him awaited a cave he knew he didn't want to enter, but he would anyway. A winter day abnormally strong and _cold_ , cold that froze the soul and stole away your life. Cold that left blue skin and bloody lips in its way. And in front of him a frozen girl, _alone_ , with wide open blue eyes that would never see again.

 _Where were you, Natsu?_

The silence was replaced by an eternal whistling inside his ears. Natsu felt livid, tar creeping through his veins. Floating with the heaviest body in the world.

And like a bolt of lightning that destroys you in place, the fury exploded everything inside of him, burnt his skin and his bones, came out through his mouth and eyes in the form of screams, tears and fire. Especially fire.

It was just a second. A second before, there was trees, and animals, and life in the woods. And the second after there was nothing. Only fire and death. Fire that flowed from Natsu. Fire that greedily devoured everything around him, leaving nothing but ash and darkened flesh behind.

Natsu fell on his knees, incapable of holding his bones up any longer, and buried his mutilated fingers deep into the soil as he inhaled shallowly, yet it felt like no air could reach his lungs. The first drops of rain splashed over his skin, sizzling as they caught up in the fire. Tears flowed freely, automatically, independent from his owner. Sobs shook his body, and his throat was tearing itself apart. Those bloody fingers went to fist in his hair, pulling as if trying to rip off his scalp and liberate his soul from its prison of flesh and sorrow.

Then, like an abandoned rag doll, his body fell to the floor wrapped in the flames that were eating away the rest of the woods. He curved over himself, hugging his knees close to his chest.

A chill snaked up his spine, shooting his eyes wide open in fear. He was cold. He was _freezing_. Like that day in the cave. He was freezing in the middle of a fucking inferno.

He shuddered, from fear, or cold, or _both_ , and hiccuped like a small child.

Lisanna was dead.

Nobody would take the cold away. Never again.

* * *

 **Author's note:** As I said before, I am not sorry. About anything. Don't worry though, this isn't the last chapter! We still have a long way to go ^_^

Feedback me, please, and tell me about your thoughts!


	4. 16 Years Old

**Author's note:** I am _so_ sorry for the delay! This chapter was actually already finished when chapter three was published, but then my beta-reader had a lot of problems with her computer, and then I had problems with mine! The universe just seemed to plot against me OTL But finally this chapter is here! I hope you enjoy it, guys!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Fairy Tail. That wonderful piece of manga art belongs to Hiro Mashima, God bless him for having created it. This chapter was beta-ed by _soshoryuu_.

* * *

 **Chapter 4: 16 years old**

Mourning is a weird thing, you know? It makes the days blur and drains your energy to do things. It dulls colours away. Makes you lose your appetite.

You don't go to the funeral because you cannot stand the idea of burying an empty coffin. It seems pointless to your eyes. Like a dark and sick joke. You know Mirajane will understand you and won't judge you, and that's the only thing that matters when you don't show up.

So instead of burying an empty, meaningless coffin under layers of dirt and worms, you set up a gravestone, high and proud underneath the sky. You chose the place carefully and end up settling for your old hiding place. Up in the mountains, surrounded by forest and animals, facing the cliffside where it will be washed everyday by the sunset's light. It's much more fitting than a cemetery, bounded by nameless tombstones and mausoleums. It seems appropriate to you. She would have liked it, you decide.

You bury down your pain. Hide it beneath missions and training and easy smiles. As soon as the dullness of the first few days fades away you enter in action and don't stop ever since. You keep moving. You don't give yourself time to think. You pick up more fights with the ice stripper, try harder to make Laxus accept your challenge. You defy Erza more often. Bring Master more problems. You quietly slip to Mirajane's side, in those moments when she thinks nobody's looking, and silently hug her shoulders and give her what little comfort you can offer. It helps both of you, although none of you ever speak about it. It's okay. It works, so you don't question it.

You are loud and obnoxious and cheerful and talkative. You light the guild up and that's great. That's everything you ever want. To take the mournful looks out of their faces. It's worth it. You hide the pain under a waterfall of words and nobody realizes you are actually more silent than ever before. Well, Mirajane does but she doesn't say anything and you are grateful for it. You don't think you will be able to keep pulling up the act if somebody confronts you about it.

The cold is never gone now. It's there, you can feel it, nagging at the back of your mind at every second that tickles by. It wakes you up at nights and startles you at daytime. It's a constant reminder, of your weakness, of your losses, of your fears and sorrows. You kind of resign yourself to it. Nobody will chase the cold away, so you start to learn how to live with it. That's the only option left at this point.

You remain silent, and lonely, and you know you are closing up but you cannot help it. Even going to the guild has become difficult. You see her in every corner, could swear you can hear her laughter in your ears. You turn around looking for her but then you realize she's not there, that she will never be there again and the pain becomes _so much worse_.

Sometimes, you need to stare hard at empty spaces, only to convince yourself that you just imagined those cerulean eyes watching you. Sometimes, your smile falters and somebody seems to catch on it, but you are quick to brush the subject off and demand a challenge to a random guild mate. Sometimes, you need to lock yourself in the guild's outhouse, because dammit, _why is it so_ _ **difficult**_ _to keep up with the façade? Why is it so difficult to put a smile on your face?_

Somebody enters the room and you let yourself out before they start asking what were you doing talking to yourself in front of the mirror. You smile and laugh and select a mission to go on, let all of your energy pour out as you destroy monster after monster, and then come back to keep up with the disguise.

And sometimes, in those nights when the pain becomes so heavy it's ripping open your chest, trying to crawl outside of you and you cannot contain it anymore and all you want to do is nothing but _scream_ … those nights you allow yourself to let some tears fall. And you cry, and _cry_ and let your fucking soul out until your eyes are dry and your throat is raw and you're sure there's no more water inside your body to keep crying.

You do it quietly, though. You don't want to wake Happy up. The poor kitten is already too burdened with his own sorrow, no need to weigh him down with your own.

But those nights come to an end. Everything comes to an end, eventually. Time goes on. It always does, doesn't it? It doesn't wait for you; it leaves you behind, bleeding out on the floor, wounded and forgotten. And somehow, you must stand up and ignore those wounds. Keep moving forward, because time doesn't stop for you.

And sooner rather than later, the sun rises and you need to whip the tears off your face and stand up to the new day. Rebuild your mask, hide away the sadness, pretend that nothing is hurting, that you are not actually dying inside. Lie to your friends, take more missions, smile, laugh, challenge your guild mates, play the innocent fool everybody believes you to be. If you pretend hard enough, sometimes you even believe it yourself.

And just like that, days go by and weeks become months faster than one would think possible. You keep moving, willing one step after the other, because that's the only thing you can do, right? Time won't wait for you. The world will not change for you. Nobody will excuse you for your pain. So there's no other option, isn't there? Just keep moving forward, keep your gaze straight ahead. You only allow yourself to look back every once in a while. Doing it is painful, but is also necessary. You _need_ to look back, you need to _remember_. You cannot allow yourself to forget.

Slowly, bit by bit, you start to heal. You don't realize at first. You are too busy worrying over Happy and pretending to the rest of the world that you are fine. You cannot place the exact moment, but one day you wake up and you realize that you are not hurting that much. That it isn't that hard to build the smile on your face. When Happy asks you how you are doing, you answer 'fine' and you are not lying anymore.

It's a hell of a change, and it confuses you at first. But you are grateful for it and embrace

the relief. There's still pain, but it doesn't sting as much anymore. It hurts, yes, but only at particular moments, late at night when you cannot sleep and you find yourself missing her smell too much. Sometimes at the light of the day, when you really need to talk to someone but you have nobody to open your heart to. Those days your feet walk you to the cliff, to her tombstone. You sit there and talk for hours. You talk about the guild and the missions. You talk about how Mira and Elfman are doing. You talk about Happy. You talk about yourself.

The cold is still there. It will never really go away, and you know it. But now it's bearable, a nuisance more than an actual threat. You learn to control it, to slowly overcome it. Remembering her helps you fight it, and so you do it whenever you feel the chill.

You find your smile again, the real one, not the fake one. You start laughing again, but now it's real, not a façade. It's easier every day. Things also change around you. You realize you don't discover Mirajane crying at corners anymore. Elfman is slowly forgiving himself too. You are all healing, moving forward. It brings a strange peace to you. You know that if she could see you all, she would be happy.

Lisanna's loss[ will be forever engraved in your soul. But it's not a vicious wound anymore. More like a healing scar, a reminder. You remember her words from long ago. You train harder than ever. Push yourself further, make yourself stronger. The sorrow and rage fuels it. You will not lose anybody else.

You vow it.

* * *

 **Author's note:** *sweats* ehh... I hope this style wasn't too weird? I felt it was neccessary. The words just came to me, and who was I to refuse them? I wrote what my muses demanded me. Please tell me what you thought of it, okay?

Now to the bad news. I'm on my summer holidays and I'm taking a family trip to the countryside. I won't be able to have access to a computer as much as I would like to, so the next chapter will probably take some time to be written. Please bear with me, guys. I can still handwrite (I actually enjoy handwriting a lot), but the process will be slower. Good news are that the angst should be over after this! There's fluff ahead, so stay tuned for it!


	5. 17 Years Old

**Author's note:** Sorry for the long wait ^^' Turns out I wasn't able to write as much as I would have liked to during holidays OTN. And then, a massive writer's block showed up and everything I wrote looked like trash to my eyes. I hope this come out at least acceptable. This chapter ended up being a lot longer than I expected. Natsu and Lisanna had a lot of things to talk about and then they would just keep stretching the chapter, and I was like "hey guys, this shit is already 16 pages long…" and they were like "WE STILL AREN'T FINISHED" and so I had to suck it up and keep writing for them. Insufferable bastards, aren't they? Anyway, songs that helped me overcome the block during the last part of this chapter: "The Scientist" (from Coldplay), Your Song (from Elton John), both performed by Joshua Sanders, and "Skinny Love" (from Bon Iver) performed by Birdy.

 **Disclaimer:** Fairy Tail doesn't belong to me, and its characters obviously don't belong to me either. If they did, they wouldn't have given me so much trouble. They belong to Hiro Mashima, God bless him. I make no profit from this fic, other than the feedback from my wonderful, always so wonderful readers. And this chapter was beta-ed by _soshoryuu_.

* * *

Chapter 5: **17 years old**

 _Natsu woke up with the worst headache he remembered ever having. His pulse thrummed behind his forehead, and he was pretty much feeling like shit in general. Vaguely, he noticed the silhouette of hands moving clumsily in the air, trying to grab at something… wait, were those his own hands? The fingers that were apparently his managed to reach a bench, grab it firmly and hoist him up._

 _Bad idea. Horrible idea. That was such a bad idea, that was the worst idea in the history of ideas. Natsu's head swam in the midst of pain, confusion and heaviness. Black dots were strolling through his vision, making it difficult to see anything at all. He tried to blink them away, but failed miserably. Everything felt quite miserable right now, to be honest. He bet that dying would be actually a blessing._

 _No, wait he couldn't die. Not right now. Something had happened. Something important._

 _He let his head fall down again and cursed in a hundred different languages when it knocked against the floor and shook everything inside. Where was he right now? Why was he feeling like shit? What had happened in the last twenty-four hours?_

 _Edolas. The answer came as a lightning bolt to him, making him jump on the spot and curse once again when the movement made him realize just how sensitive his stomach was. Had he thrown up at some point during last night? No, definitely not. If he had, he wouldn't be feeling so much like crap right now._

 _Wait, he was feeling like shit because he had drunk last night. Yeah… yeah, he remembered! He had drunk like there was no tomorrow. Fairy Tail had been celebrating because… because they had come back from Edolas alive and… and nobody had been badly hurt and… and… and now they had new members like Pantherlily and…_

 _Natsu's eyes shot wide open, and when the light pierced his sensitive pupils and left him hurting, he still forced them to stay that way._

 _Lisanna. Lisanna was alive._

 _He stood up on wobbly legs, careful of every movement he made. There was lead_ _where his head should have been; it felt heavy and unstable, and his stomach was protesting, trying to come out through his mouth. He kept his jaw tightly closed, refusing to throw up right now. He had much more important matters before that._

 _His abused eyes scanned the place, and he realized he was at the guild. Orange light filtered between the closed curtains, and the automatic part of his brain guessed it must be somewhere in the early morning, maybe sunrise, maybe nine am. There was no way of knowing without going outside, and that was something he definitely wasn't going to do._

 _He had fallen asleep sometime last night at a corner and some kind soul had dropped a blanket over his passed out form. Good news was that he didn't seem to be the only one left in that poor state. At least half of the guild was sleeping at different places of the floor. He could see Cana drooling over an unconscious Juvia, who in turn was clinging like her life depended on it to her Gray-sama's precious arm. Lucy was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn't too weird. She probably went home at some point during last night. Gajeel was actually hugging his new pet in a gesture that looked almost cute, if it wasn't by the fact that seeing Gajeel in an unconscious and innocent state was incredibly disturbing for Natsu's eyes. Levy was not far away either, resting over Droy's chest with Jet near them._

 _But Natsu's groggy brain barely registered his guild mates' state. There was only space for one fact in there, and that was that beyond the smell of alcohol and sweat and heat and human beings, there was the scent of something rich and sweet, something that smelled like spring, clean fur and fresh leather. A scent he thought he would never smell again._

 _If someone had seen him walking in that moment, they would have thought of him as an automat doll instead of a living person. He followed the trail letting his instincts do the work that at the moment his logical mind was unable to do. He stumbled over knocked out bodies and his legs hit a couple of tables, but finally he got to his destination. And found her._

 _She was tucked away in her siblings' arms, both elders hugging her from each side. Mirajane was nuzzling her hair while Elfman spooned her, his big body covering almost everything of her in a protective embrace. And she was smiling. A small, fulfilled smile. A peaceful smile._

 _Natsu decided he was too tired and hung over to do anything at the moment. He walked back to his spot in the corner where he found Happy snuggled in the blanket, something he hadn't noticed before. He laid on the floor again and tried to cover himself the best he could with the little cloth. Sleep seized him almost immediately. He was hella tired, and his brain needed to sleep the headache off. But it was okay. There was nothing to hurry about anyway. He would wake up a couple of hours from now, and everything would be just fine._

* * *

The door looked at him. It seemed to mock him on his indecision. Some people were beginning to stare. One does not simply stay standing in front of a door for half an hour without knocking. And yet...

The Strauss house stood tall in front of him. He hadn't been here in what felt like an eternity. Two years can stretch a lot, curiously. The days in which he came here almost every day to invite Lisanna for a drink or some playtime seemed not only years, but worlds away. Too much had happened.

It had been a week since Lisanna's miraculous comeback from the world of the dead. Or, well, from the dimension of Edolas, to be more precise. One week of awkward glances and fidgeting in his seat. One week of growing tension and uncomfortable silence.

They hadn't talked since the day they returned from Edolas. Lisanna had barely been at the guild at all. She was present the first day after her emotional reunion with her siblings. She helped Team Natsu, Gajeel, and a new found Patherlily explain what had happened during the Edolas drama, the absence of Mystogan and all that shit. Confusion was dissipated, tears were shed, and everybody celebrated the fact that their dear baby Lisanna was back. Celebrated big, Fairy Tail style, of course.

As expected, the party had lasted the whole night and morning found drunken wizards passed out over the floor and tables. Everybody had partied, and nobody had held back. Natsu had woken up with a serious hangover. He had drunk, eaten and danced like there was no tomorrow. Lisanna was back, she was alive and tangible, her scent in his nose when he thought he would never smell it again. He was ecstatic.

When he woke up the next day, neither Lisanna nor any of the Strauss siblings had been there anymore. Panic overflowed him. The fear that it all might have been a dream was sharp and poignant. But no, her scent was in the air and his nose wouldn't lie to him.

He took the semi-conscious Happy with him and followed the trail until he got to the same place he was right now. When he knocked on the door, a calmed Mirajane opened.

" _She's sleeping right now. She's tired. Give her some time to settle down, will you, Natsu? All this world moving was harsh on her."_

Natsu hadn't protested because what Mirajane said sounded pretty reasonable. Lisanna was tired and that was logical, very logical. He should give her time, that's right, that's right.

Yes, that's right. Really logical. And reasonable. But then, why were his insides clawing out of him, demanding to see the girl right then and there?

" _Ah, okay. I'll… I'll go now. I'll come back later. Yes, that's what I'll do."_

" _Wait Natsu!"_

Mirajane had stopped him when he was about to leave. Her words pulled taunt some hidden strings inside of him. He turned around with a hopeful smile on his face.

" _What is it?"_

" _Could you… Could you maybe let Happy stay? Lisanna said she wanted to spend time with him. She missed him. "_

…And that's the fastest way to crush a boy's optimism.

" _Oh. Uh. Sure."_

The kitten had fallen asleep over his head on the way there. Gently he woke him up and explained the situation. Happy eagerly agreed to stay. Why wouldn't he, honestly? The exceed had suffered from Lisanna's absence just as much as the boy had.

Natsu left him there and went away with a whole new kind of bad humour tainted with disappointment that he couldn't quite shake off for the rest of the day.

The only times he saw Happy or Lisanna during the next week, were when the girl decided to show up at the guild to say hi or complete some errand Mirajane had assigned her. She never stayed for long, and whenever her gaze was caught by Natsu she seemed to hurry whatever she was doing and disappear faster than he could follow.

Huh. One would even think she was trying to avoid him. Good thing Natsu knew better.

Okay so, he had given her a week. A week to settle down. A week of tension and sharply cut out glances. He wasn't a jerk; if Lisanna needed her time, he was no one to deny her from it. But he also had his needs and he really, _really_ needed to talk to her. He needed to see her, to smell her, to touch her. Two years were a heck of a lot of time. Especially when you are absolutely convinced that you will never see the other person because fate has decided to rip them away from you. He needed to convince himself that she was real. To recognize her.

Yes, a week was enough time and it's not like he was doing something wrong by coming here to talk to her. Maybe spend some time with her. He had every right to do it, he had it. Yeah, he did!

Besides, since Happy was staying here, it was only right for him to come by and check on him. He wasn't doing anything wrong by coming here. He was about to knock when the door abruptly opened and suddenly two bright blue orbs were staring at him.

"Na-natsu!"

"Lisanna!"

Natsu realized he was dumbfounded, so he discretely closed his jaw and tucked away the hand that had been left frozen in the air.

"Natsu… what are you doing here? Are you here for Happy?"

"Ehh… actually, I was looking for you."

Lisanna cocked he head, scowling in confusion.

"For me?"

"Lisannaaaaa, who's at the door?" A ball of blue fur peered up from the girl's shoulder. "Oh, Natsu! How are you doing? It's been a whole week!"

"Yeah, I know buddy." Natsu grinned at Happy, but when his eyes returned to Lisanna, hers were cast down. Natsu's smile faltered just a little. "Erg… I was here to know how things were going… Since the Strauss are feeding you I thought I should contribute somehow."

Natsu's tongue tasted sour as it formed the words that weren't lies but were not exactly the truth either. He looked at Lisanna once more, but she still wasn't meeting his gaze and that bothered him _so much_ for some reason.

"Oh well, I'm fine here. Mirajane is a great cook, and she knows dozens of different ways to cook fish, besides everybody says I'm not a bother so you shouldn't worry. Oh, but how's Lucy going? Have you gone to a mission without me, remember I want to…"

Happy's chattering faded into background silence as Natsu's gaze focused solely on Lisanna's face. Why wouldn't she meet his eyes? Why had she been avoiding him all week? He had been so incredibly happy when she came back. Like his lungs couldn't quite fit his chest, and yet it wasn't an unpleasant sensation. All on the contrary, it was almost like soaring. And Lisanna had seemed happy too, if the way she had hugged him against the floor was any hint to go by.

What had happened during the last week to make her shy away from him like that?

"Lisanna, who's at the door…? Oh, Natsu! What are you doing here? Ah, I mean, it's good to see you!" Mirajane appeared behind Lisanna wearing one of her jovial smiles. "What are you doing here? Do you want to come in?"

Natsu spared one last fruitless glance to the younger girl, before engaging the bartender with a half-way fixed expression of his own.

"I… I was just wondering if you would like some help with Happy. Since, you know, he's my responsibility. And you are taking care of him for me so. I just. Thought it might be correct to offer my help."

Awkward. This situation was so awkward. No, awkward didn't even began to describe the strain in the air. Natsu was starting to feel deflated, like somebody had drained all the energy from his body. Lisanna didn't look like she wanted to talk to him at all, and that feeling was worse than the strongest punch in the gut. Why had he even come here? He should had been more patient, like Lucy always says, and waited until Lisanna had approached him when she was ready.

Unaware of his inner sulking, Mirajane was humming with her index finger pressed against her lips.

"Well, Happy is fine, we don't have any problems with him, really. He's a sweetheart when he wants to be. He doesn't give trouble at all, you should trust him… some more…" Mirajane slowly stopped talking as she noticed the tension between the two teens. Gosh, but you could practically cut the air with a knife! She pursed her lips and cocked an eyebrow. No, this definitely wasn't going to happen. Not on her watch!

The model tucked one white strand behind her ear before crossing her arms, one hand on her chin, and saying as casually as she could:

"Actually Natsu, you came just in the right moment. I was needing an extra pair of hands here."

"You did?"

"You did, Mira-nee?"

The teens looked at her, then at each other when they realized they had spoken at the same time and immediately averted their gazes, both with blushes. Mavis, but they were like small children!

"Yes, I did. Lisanna, you had been at home an awfully lot."

"Mira-nee! I haven't!" The girl spluttered, recoiling slightly.

"Yes, you have Lisanna. Natsu, I need your help to get her out of here. Go take her to the town centre or something. Help her get used to the ways of Earthland again."

Lisanna was protesting somewhere on the background, but Mirajane didn't pay her any attention, engrossed in Natsu as she was. The boy looked bleak, so unlike himself. His eyes averted when usually looking straight in the face of a challenge, his shoulders down when he always held them high with pride. This kid was a pile of self-doubt right now.

Ah, first love. It's astonishing, how it can take down the best of us.

Pity a self-doubting Natsu wouldn't do right now. She needed to do something about it.

"You know, Natsu. Lisanna has been asking for you. She missed you greatly these two years, even if she's shy to admit it."

The current colour in Lisanna's cheeks could have probably defied what humanity as a kind considered red, but once again Mirajane's focus was somewhere else. Specifically, on the way Natsu started to look less like an emo boy with low self-esteem and more like himself.

"She… she did?"

He took the bait. Headshot.

"Yes, totally!"

"Mira-nee, what are you saying?" Lisanna hissed with a painfully ashamed expression.

"That's such a silly question Lisanna. I'm telling the truth. Haven't you missed Natsu?"

"Well, y-yeah, I did!"

"Of course you did. He's your friend, isn't him?"

The girl's spluttering stopped to be replaced by a gapingly surprised expression.

"Yes, he… he is."

"And you Natsu, you missed her, right?"

"Yes." Natsu looked straight at Lisanna when he said the next words. "I did miss her. More than you can imagine."

"Oh, I know Natsu." The way she said this made him look up, and so much understanding came through in that simple stare. Memories of nights spent together mourning the loss of their dear one. "I know. You are her friend. And she's yours. So why don't you two go out together and hang out a little? It will be good for both of you."

Silence followed her words, but this time it wasn't uncomfortable or awkward. Just loaded. Waiting for something.

Finally, Lisanna sighed and look up.

"I guess… it would be good if we go out and do something."

"Of course it will!" Mirajane cheered. "Now go. I have a thousand different things to do at home and I want some peace while I do so. Ah, but leave Happy here. He's good company to be with when doing housework," she said as she pushed both of them out and took the cat from Lisanna's shoulder.

"Ahhh, we'll be back in a couple of hours."

"Yes, Mira-chan, I won't bring her home late."

"Yes, yes, take as much time as you want to!" Was the last thing she said before closing the door on their noses, leaving her message crystal-clear. Once alone, she sighed and hugged Happy against her chest.

"Those two need so much help. Sometimes I wonder why they put so many obstacles in their own way."

Happy squished his way up among her boobs until his head popped up.

"They lllllike each other?"

Mirajane giggled at her accomplice.

"Of course they do!"

* * *

One step after the other, right and left, keep the legs moving. That's how you walk, that's right. Eyes gazing anywhere but her face. That's it, Natsu, keep the awkward atmosphere going on.

Natsu was so frustrated he could have screamed. Lisanna still wasn't looking at him, and she smelled just as uncomfortable as he was. Since when were walks with her this quiet? No, wait, he remembers the quietness. He remembers the peacefulness he use to feel with her, but this thing right here had nothing to do with what he felt years ago. This silence was tense instead of relaxing, too many words lost in the way out of their mouths.

But what could you say to someone you hadn't seen in two years? Someone you _thought was dead_ for two years? Someone you mourned for, someone you thought would _never_ see again? Natsu was trying, really trying to find something to talk about, a comment to make, a stupid joke to shorten the distance separating them but nothing came to him. Just awful emptiness that screamed in his face the lack of connection there was between them.

Where was that contented silence they had once shared? God, he missed it. Natsu had never been good at expressing himself. That's why he liked being with Lisanna so much. He could just stare into her eyes and she would read in his face whatever he needed to tell her. And wordlessly she would grab his hand, or hug him from behind, or just walk by his side humming a soothing song. Nothing else had been so comforting. So understanding. So needless of words.

Maybe that silent understanding they once had was lost forever. Maybe it was buried under the fists of monsters and the earth of tombstones. So much had happened. It was only natural, right? That they wouldn't be the same people as they were before. The thought had the corners of his lips going down with the sudden heaviness he was feeling on the edges of his soul.

Natsu glanced at her, needing to see her, but she still looked distant, so far away even though there was less than a foot separating them. Lisanna looked so cold when she had always been _warm_ to him.

The dragon slayer scowled with anger at this whole situation. He wanted it back. He wanted the connection, the understanding, the almost telepathic bond they once had as kids.

He wanted his Lisanna back.

He knew she was still there, insecurely shielding under that surface of awkward looks and shut mouths. But how could he crack this ice apart?

He stopped on his tracks as the answer appeared as easy as his smile.

He just had to burn it down. If something is giving you too much trouble, just burn the whole thing down. And to hell with it.

"Hey, Lis, this silence won't do."

"Eh, what?" Her head came up with surprise written all over her face. Natsu ignored her perplexity without so much thought, rested his fists over his hips instead.

"You were unable to use your magic in Edolas, right?"

"Ah, yes, I wasn't…"

"So then, how did you get jobs done?"

Lisanna was taking a couple seconds to answer, as if her brain had some problems processing the words. As if the dragon slayer had shaken her too suddenly out of the silence and now she was having trouble relearning how to speak. But Natsu, simply waiting for an answer, was unfazed by this.

"I had to use magical equipment with lacrima inside."

"Ah yes, I remember those. Edo-Lucy gave us some when we were there. They were shitty as fuck though, one use and they were all broken. Nothing as good ol' magic, don't you think?"

"Well, yes." Lisanna's smile came shyly to her lips. It looked like she was trying to remember how to make that simple gesture. "But in Edolas I hadn't much of a choice, Natsu. I hadn't those wonderful balls the prince gave to you."

"Those were the X-balls. Mystogan gave them to us." It sounded so weird to think of Mystogan as 'prince' of anything. "But anyway, then that means you haven't used your magic in two years, Lis."

Whatever progress in relearning of speaking she had made, it seemed to run away from her; she just stood there gaping at him.

"I… I guess I haven't."

"You're rusty, then."

"… I guess I am."

"Therefore, you need to practice and make up for those two years lost."

Lisanna closed her mouth tightly, as if refusing to answer. Natsu stared at her with a cocked eyebrow.

"Right?" He asked as he crossed his arms with a smirk.

"I guess you are right," she finally sighed.

"Of course I am." He grinned then, all sharp teeth that should be scary but weren't and eyes closed that were brighter than sunlight could. He snatched her hand and started running towards his home. "We need to do something about it!"

"Ah! Natsu! You'll rip my arm off!" Lisanna didn't sound too thrilled by the idea of running.

"We need to hurry, Lis! There's two years to make up for!"

He dragged her throughout the whole of Magnolia and its outskirts, until they left civilization behind and the woods appeared in front of them. When the little cottage got into view, Natsu passed right by its side, heading to the trees behind it. He finally let go of her wrist when they stopped in a clearing Natsu usually used to practice. The girl sighed in relief as her whole body sagged, hands over her knees, her breathing erratic with the exertion of physical exercise.

"Geez, Lis. You are more out of shape than I thought." Natsu's comments were usually oblivious, straight forward with painful honesty, but he never put much thought on them. He just said what he saw, not really thinking that it could rile up the person on the receiver end.

That statement had nothing of innocent. There was an intended sassiness in his voice, a challenge that was nothing subtle. Lisanna's panting stopped and she froze for a moment before slowly pulling up from her position and sizing him up with a careful stare.

She scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"You, sir, are way cockier than I remember you being."

"You sure about that, Lis? Perhaps you got too used to that meek copycat of me." His hands went up to lace behind his head and he looked away in an undeniably cocky posture. "I expected more of you. Comparing me to a wimpy kid, Mavis but I feel insulted."

"I-!" Lisanna was now smiling, torn between amusement and outrage. "I am not comparing you! Stop putting words in my mouth! I was just saying, it will take me some time getting used to this version of you again. Besides, Edo-Natsu is a sweetheart and we were really close, good friends! Don't diminish him just like that."

Natsu scoffed. Something in the fond way Lisanna spoke of the other version of himself had an acrid feeling churning his gut, but he chose to ignore it in favour of the smile she was now showing. Now, _that's_ how he remembered Lisanna being! All twinkling eyes and rosy cheeks. If she just needed a little playing push to get out of her hiding place, then he would taunt her as much as he needed to.

"He was a crying baby who loved transportation, Lis. I don't know what you saw in him, I could never be friends with someone like that. Oh, but maybe that's all your crappy social skills could get you…"

"Hey, stop talking of him like that! You are technically the same person! And-" Her head was hunched over her shoulders, her mouth set on a firm line, and the tips of her ears were red. Oh my, she was getting angry. And yet, the corners of her mouth were still pulling in a half, reluctant smile. "I've got great social skills! I'm friends with everybody in the guild!"

"Lis, your best friends are a flying blue cat and a fire-eating pyromaniac. Ask any random person what _that_ says about _you_ , and they will all conclude that your social skills are… well, poor at best."

"Did you just admit to be a pyromaniac?"

"And a proud one, at that."

"For the love of God." Her hand was at her face then, as if needed there or else her head would fall, dramatically looking down, carrying the weight of the world in her shoulders. "You know, during the last two years my best friend used to be a pink-haired driver with dual personalities, so maybe you are right. I have poor social skills."

There it was again. That gnawing irritation that had him suddenly really angry at that other version of himself. Natsu wondered about it.

"We need to train," he said in a burst of energy, eager to forget the whole Edo-Natsu deal. "You still remember the basics of your magic, don't you?"

"Of course I do, Natsu," the girl huffed as she removed her sweater. The hem of her underside shirt stuck to the fabric she was removing, allowing a sliver of milky white belly to be seen, only to be hidden immediately after. Natsu pretended he hadn't really seen that. That his gut hadn't twisted at the sight. "Don't take me as a beginner. I might have not practiced much during my time in Edolas, but that doesn't mean I'm helpless. I still remember the flow of magic setting my body alive."

She acquired a fighting stance, he feet separated at the level of her shoulders and her gaze attentive to his movements. Natsu startled a bit at that, but that didn't prevent a smile from tweaking his lips upwards.

"I never said we would spar."

"With you, what other thing could we be doing?"

Her mischievous eyes tugged something in him, and without him knowing it he was already in crouching position, ready to jump. He bit his lower lip, feeling excitement growing from within. Yes, this was the Lisanna he remembered!

"Okay. I'll go easy on you."

"You do that and I might just find an opening to defeat you…"

"Oh, I doubt that." Now, Natsu couldn't stop the grin that was splitting his face in half. "I'm all fired up!"

"On the count of three, okay?"

Sparring with Lisanna? He had never done that before, not even when they had been kids. This would be so fun, Natsu was sure of it.

"Okay," he agreed before starting counting down: "Three, two…"

"One!"

She jumped to the air and the next thing Natsu knew, he was fighting off claws from gashing his face. Lisanna had transformed and now there were colourful wings were her arms should had been and sharp talons instead of feet.

" _Animal Soul: Harpy!"_

Natsu had to back off just a little before her powerful initiative. He remembers this _take over_ , he saw it once or twice while going on missions with the Strauss siblings but he had never given much credit to it. I mean, how much harm could a giant bird cause? He had never really paid attention to the sharpness of those claws, or the speed of the wings.

He was now realizing his mistake.

Moving a step back and planting his hands on the ground for leverage, he swung his legs up and rotated himself over her.

" _Fire Dragon's Claws!"_

His feet ignited in fire, creating a raging circle of flames around them. On the corner of his eye he saw Lisanna flying upwards, escaping the small inferno and disappearing behind the flare. Only a moment afterwards he had her on his back, bravely charging through the flames to surprise him from his blind spot, this time fully transformed into a giant bird. It was her beak what he had to watch out this time, and man, that shit was definitely made with some _hard_ material.

Natsu blocked with both his arms, but Lisanna was fast and agile. Her talons were on his forearms in the blink of an eye, pulling them apart and away from his face to give access to her bothersome beak.

And she started… pulling at his hair? With her beak?!

"Ouch, argh… hey, that hurts! Stop it!" Natsu squirmed and struggled beneath her to break free, but the claws at his forearms were strong and that beak was relentless.

"You really thought I wouldn't be able to tell you were holding back?" Her voice came slightly pitched high from this bird-like form, and drowned in her cheerful laughter. "Mira-nee told me they now call you Salamander! Is the great Salamander really going to look down on me? I feel disappointed!"

Well, that did it.

"Oh, you feisty girl, I'll show you what Salamander is capable of doing!"

From shoulder to fingertips, his whole arms exploded in flames. Lisanna immediately let go with a squeak. Her wings were going to take her higher once again, but Natsu wasn't going to give her the chance.

" _Fire Dragon's Iron Fist!"_

His attack rained down on her, but while Natsu had destructive attacks and strength, Lisanna had the speed of her wings and the advantage of being a small target. She dodged flame after flame, strike after strike, her chortling still letting itself be heard throughout the attack. Natsu couldn't help the smile in his lips either, or the giggles that left him. He always had fun while sparring; fighting turned his body into a live wire, more alive than ever. But this was different. It wasn't the edging thrill that hollowed his stomach when he was fighting a powerful opponent, or the strain in his muscles that reminded him of how vulnerable he could be. This was quieter, simpler. Uncomplicated. Like taking a jump into a cold pool among friends in the middle of summer. The fun of an after-school game in the heat of spring.

He kept attacking and Lisanna kept dodging, occasionally risking advances of her own. They were still laughing, louder every second that passed. They were dancing and then they were just playing, two kids revelling in the innocence of childhood. Not troubled teenagers anymore, not scarred souls torn apart by loss. Just kids, carefree and gleeful kids, playing as if years hadn't happened, as if there was nothing to worry in the world. As if laughing and playing was the only thing really worth to do.

Submerged under this timeless sea, Natsu really felt like time hadn't passed. Like they were the same people as before. That two years hadn't happened, that Lisanna would be sixteen next month and he would have to help Mirajane prepare her surprise party this weekend. Carefree. Gleeful. So easy and innocent. If only it was as simple as that…

Lisanna landed on earth and, too fast for Natsu's eyes to catch up, she changed back into a human form. No bird parts this time, but for a startling moment Natsu thought she was naked! It took him some seconds to realize that she was cladded in a tiger stripped bikini so white that it blended with her pale skin.

" _Animal Soul: Cat!"_

What the fuck, Lisanna was even faster in this form! She moved with feline precision, sharp claws instead of fingers threatening to slice his arms apart at his slightest distraction. He ducked and heard the whistled of the air being cut apart where his head had been not a second ago. How could he retaliate? From this position a _Dragon Slayer's Sword Horn_ would be ideal, but that would finish the battle too soon. It was one of his most powerful attacks. He had no time to keep thinking because then his eyes made the terrible mistake to look just ahead of him. To be faced with Lisanna's cleavage. Hidden only by a tiny tiger stripped bikini. A _very_ tiny tiger stripped bikini.

Natsu felt the colour draining out of his face, only to return full force not a second after. Had it… had it _grown_ during these two years? It… it was definitely bigger. Not that Natsu spent time looking at it, not at all! But just… those were things you noticed, right? And Lisanna was positively smaller before. That, or she had managed to hide everything with mastery.

Oh God, they were bouncing.

He forced his eyes to go up to her face where they should be because he wasn't a pervert for fuck's sake, but then he was met with a close look of her cat-like features and that was his doom. Little fangs stood out from her lips, moisten by the battle, and her small pink feline nose was surrounded by whiskers. And on the top of her head two big, very white and very soft-looking ears were born from her hair. Before he could stop it, Natsu was abruptly struck by some very dark and lewd thoughts that dried out his mouth and left a void were his stomach should have been.

He was punished for them soon enough though. His moment of distraction gave Lisanna the right opening, and costed him a deep gash in his arm.

"Argh, fuck!" Natsu recoiled some clumsy steps away, grabbing at his injured arm all the while trying to avoid Lisanna's unyielding claws.

"I've got you now!" She shouted as she jumped and fell over him with the full weight of her body. Natsu's feet stumbled and he fell backwards, Lisanna landing on top of him, her nails grabbing firmly at his vest to keep him in place. "I win!" She sing-sang.

"Oh, not a chance!" His hands went up to her shoulders and pushed her backwards, gaining him the top position. But Lisanna was stubborn if anything, and kept struggling underneath him, managing to get him off of her. They rolled around on the grass, one way then the other, magic forgotten, and the laughter was there again, filling the forest and caressing their ears.

"Okay, okay, truce, truce!" Lisanna cried after some minutes, after Natsu had gotten on top again.

He rolled aside and they laid there, side by side, watching the sky. Natsu was slightly out of breath, more from the laughter than the physical exertion. There were still some remnants of it, clinging to the corners of his mouth. He made no effort to get rid of it; he hadn't had so much fun just fooling around in what felt like ages.

"How's your arm?"

"Oh, it's nothing. You couldn't hurt me even if you really tried."

"Who says I was trying?"

She looked at him, one eyebrow up and eyes a sea of slyness. Natsu should be bothered by it, but instead he found out her expression was making weird things with his heart. He sucked in a breath, regaining his composure and his next words were uttered with confidence:

"Next time you won't manage to land a single strike."

"We'll see about that."

Something glowed in the corner of his eye, and when he looked aside Lisanna was back on the clothes she was wearing before. Natsu was silently thankful for it. It was easier to concentrate this way. Lisanna was in no better state than he, eyes closed and giggles dying down into a pleasant smile. Natsu smiled, sighed and turned his face back to the sky, eyes closed and hands behind his head, relaxed and content.

They stayed like that for some seconds that stretched into minutes. Just enjoying the silence and Natsu was so glad to get what he wanted back.

But then he heard Lisanna moving beside him, and opened his eyes to find her sitting up.

He looked at her with a raised brow, questioningly, but she shied away when their eyes met. Once again. Why. Why wouldn't she meet his eyes? Things had been going so well.

"This was… nice," she muttered while dusting her clothes. "I haven't had so much fun for a while…"

"Hey, stop looking away." Natsu sat up, gently took her chin in his hand and turned her head around. Lisanna returned his stare with the wide eyes of a doe that's been caught by headlights. Natsu was unfazed, gaze firm on her. "I've spent two whole years unable to look at your eyes. Don't hide them from me anymore, please."

She stayed frozen for a second but then moved her head inches away, just enough to separate from his hand, and Natsu dropped it understanding the message. She sighed, her eyes falling just slightly once again and hugged her knees, letting her head rest over them. Looking straight ahead. Her blue orbs dancing aimlessly over the trees. Still not looking at him.

He mimicked her posture, but his head was turned aside, refused to look anywhere but her. He wasn't going to let her escape just like that.

"What's wrong, Lis? Why have you been avoiding me this week?"

She stiffened.

"Natsu, I haven't been avoiding you, I have just been spending a lot of time at home…"

"Yes you have, Lis. Don't try to deny it."

She blinked, slowly, gaze eating the ground. His tone had appeared more serious than he had first intended, but it was okay. Natsu almost never spoke seriously, voice always full of mischievousness. But right now, this thing, it was serious. So small, and yet it mattered so much. At least to him.

Butterflies were starting to fly around them, unafraid now that the battle had finished. The clearing started to come to life around them. Birds were singing and insects buzzing. A lonely bee set flight from a nearby flower, and Lisanna followed it with her sight.

"Lis?"

"I guess I… was afraid."

That answer surprised him, popping out when he thought she wouldn't say anything.

"Afraid?" Natsu asked, confused. "Of what?"

Of him?

"I don't know." There was a small, melancholic smile in her face. "Afraid that you might have changed. That things wouldn't be the same between us anymore."

Oh. So then the thing was mutual.

"So I," she continued. "I guess I just… stupidly-cowardly-, tried to postpone it. Our meeting. As much as possible." She looked at him, on her own accord this time, eyes bright open and unwavering, some sort of mirth dancing in them. "But you were having none of it, right?"

Natsu startled back a little, somehow feeling guilty but then he pushed it down. He had done nothing wrong by going to her door, he reminded himself.

"Well, of course not!" He huffed. His whole head rested on his knees and for the first time, he was the one to look aside. His next words came as a mumbled whisper. "I missed you. I wanted to see you."

He heard her giggling softly, and couldn't resist the curiosity to look at her face. Lisanna looked at him fondly now, tilting her head.

"I missed you too, you know. I guess that's why I was scared. I was scared that maybe you wouldn't be the same Natsu I left."

The dragon slayer opened his mouth to answer, but found it empty of words. He closed it again and let his gaze roam the grass, mulling over what she said.

Lisanna let it slip. It was so quiet between them, but it wasn't the same uncomfortable silence as before. No, that one had been burnt down by laughter and games and glee. This one was more like what they used to have before, easy and undemanding.

"I don't think things can ever be like they were before, Lis," he finally said. "I bet you've already realized that. Too many things have happened. We aren't the same people we were before. You have changed… and so have I. You are now back to life and it's great! I was so happy when I saw you here, in Earthland that I- I don't know. I felt like my chest was exploding." He sighed. "But… but the scars are still there and... Lisanna, I had to mourn you. Build a tombstone for you. _Bury you._ " Natsu had to make a small pause, control his voice, remind himself that the past was in the past.

"And when I think of the pain I felt when I lost you, it still hurts sometimes. It's a deep scar. It will fade away, surely, but it'll need time. We are both different. We lost two years of each other's lives, and we don't really know what happened during that time. And some changes, they are… they are irreversible. Trying to go back to what we were before is pointless, at least to my eyes."

The wind whispered as it tangled between tree branches. The boy looked straight ahead, watching the sun go down and paint the hillside with shadows. He didn't want to look at her. For a moment, he was scared he might have broken something irreparable between them. But the words had been begging to be spoken, and they were already uttered anyway. No going back now.

Lisanna was the first to break the silence and when she did, it was with a nostalgic sigh. Natsu hazarded a peek at her and found her stretching her legs, letting her weight rest on the palms of her hands behind her. Watching the sky with a fond smile tweaking her lips.

"Indeed you have changed, haven't you Natsu? Who would have guessed you would become so mature?"

Natsu realized he had been holding his breath. He let go of it in a short snort as some tension left his shoulders.

"Well, it was bound to happen at some point."

The girl's small smile grew into a full grin, eyes closed for a moment, as if appreciating something that was lost to Natsu. She snickered then and looked at him playfully.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I was beginning to have my doubts with you."

"Hey, I am a mature guy! Ask anyone about it. Oh, but don't ask Lucy. She's particularly adamant in saying I'm as destructive as a child in a tantrum."

She cackled, and the wind carried the weightlessness of her laugher away. Natsu smiled too, relieved to see the tension had completely left them. Lisanna let herself fall on the grass and after some seconds Natsu did the same.

"Hey, Natsu. I know it won't be as before. It couldn't be, could it? But then, since we are different people now, and there might be some things we don't know about each other, there's a question I'm bound to ask you."

The dragon slayer tilted his head to the side, looking at her curiously.

"What is it?"

"Natsu, do you want to be my friend?"

It took a moment for him to answer, that simple phrase transporting him years back, when he was only a boy too scared to socialize with anyone in the guild, half-frozen in a trauma of the past. It all came back to him, the smile that thawed his fears away, that made him feel warm once again.

Natsu smiled with his eyes closed in happiness.

"I would love to." He opened his lids and looked at the wide blue sky. "We can be best friends."

Lisanna rolled on her side to face him, her arms pillowing her head.

"Best friends forever," she whispered.

Natsu rolled too and took her pinkie finger in his own, Lisanna's eyes following the motion.

"Best friends forever," he swore softly, looking at their intertwined fingers.

He lifted his gaze as Lisanna did the same. For a moment, their eyes connected and it was as if time stretched on forever. Lisanna's white lashes captured Natsu's attention. He found himself marvelling at them, wanting to touch them. Wanting to let the pads of his fingers travel through those silky, pale locks of hair. Lisanna was breathing softly, her mouth partly opened, making as little noise as possible, least it would somehow break the moment. Natsu realized he was doing the same. He was suddenly very aware of how plump her lips looked, and very aware of the fact that he wanted to taste them. Know how they would feel under his own.

Aware that he wanted to kiss Lisanna.

Aware that maybe, just maybe, Lisanna wanted to kiss him to.

But then Lisanna closed her eyes, and the moment was lost. When she opened them again their connection was still there, but it wasn't quite the same.

"I've just come back," she whispered, still keeping the noises to a minimum.

Natsu understood. He nodded, eyes closed. No need of words. They never had.

Nothing could be heard but the wind rustling the grass. Silence, comfortable and familiar. Natsu could take a nap here, sleep for hours. It was just that peaceful. Lisanna smelled relaxed and if he concentrated enough, his keen ears could tell him that her heart was beating steadily, slowly, sleeping already. He decided to follow her in.

Their fingers were still knotted, and they left them like that until they woke up.

* * *

 **Author's note:** So how was it, guys? Passable? I sure hope so. I struggled so much with it...

Mirajane is the number 1 NaLi shipper, I will fight you on this.

Also, am I the only one who noticed just how much Lisanna's boobs grew in two years. Man, I wish I had that sort of boost hahahaha... hahaha... ha ha... TT_TT

YOU SURE THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO KISS RIGHT? I THOUGHT THAT TOO! Seriously tho, those two were just begging me to let them kiss, but I had to act like the responsible writer I'm supposed to be and deny them. It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life. I spent two literal hours debating with myself if I should let them kiss or not. TOO BAD I'M A SADIST. You'll have to wait for the fun to happen~~~

Feedback me, please.


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